Doing a John

Saying you can come to an event and then cancelling at the last minute.

1. Sorry guys, I'm afraid I'll be doing a John tonight.

Also acceptable:
2. Imma have to John it tonight.
3. That girl I was interested in did a John. Now I cry myself to sleep.

by xWitt October 20, 2017

Doing a John

Entering a public toilet and using the facilities improperly; often involves leaving faeces in the toilet bowl without initiating the flush mechanism.

"See that bloke over there, the one with a newspaper, he is doing a John."

"Dirty bastard"

by Graham Marsh October 22, 2004

Doing a John

Lusting after a young girl with the intention of postponing a sexual proposition for an undetermined number of years.

Often the perpetrator will announce the number of years he intends to wait in a grumbled tone.

So my little sister just started junior school. Yeah, she is doing really well, better than I was at that age. Hey John, I won't be in lesson because I've got to go and pick her up at three.

Four more years...

by Graham Marsh October 24, 2004

Doing a john

to unexplainably lose all your money in five hands of poker

'Damnit five hands and im all out!'
'shut yo jibba jabber and stop doing a john!'
*crys then begins to masterbate*

by lewis B October 23, 2007

Doing a John McCarthy

Going into a store with a huge jacket, then whilst facing away from the cashier starting to in a really sensual way touch all the candy and putting your hands down your pocket smoothly.

is usually done when on ones phone

Damn nigger cashier thought i was stealing and punched me in the face and balls. Guess i was doing a John McCarthy

by Negerslaven November 24, 2011

Doing a John Cena

Doing a John Cena means that you go in both places and disappears on naked eyes.

Term came from John Cena, a wrestler known for flashy squash moves.

Ben's a fan of Cena, and he's Doing a John Cena right now.

by Kay Tutan Tayo December 28, 2018

Doing a John Roberts

You are doing a John Roberts when you try to give both sides something to call a win.

Guy A: "What to do now? My daughter wants to visit Disneyland but my wifey complains it's too expensive for us to go there".
Guy B: "Well, buy some Disney movie tickets and save money that way. Your daughter will be happy and your wifey won't complain anymore."
Guy A: "You want me doing a John Roberts, right?"
Guy B: "Yeah, that's a foolproof plan. Trust me!"
*Divorce triggering*

by SupremeCourtNerd July 16, 2020