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Entering a public toilet and using the facilities improperly; often involves leaving faeces in the toilet bowl without initiating the flush mechanism.
"See that bloke over there, the one with a newspaper, he is doing a John."

"Dirty bastard"
by Graham Marsh October 22, 2004
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2
Saying you can come to an event and then cancelling at the last minute.
1. Sorry guys, I'm afraid I'll be doing a John tonight.

Also acceptable:
2. Imma have to John it tonight.
3. That girl I was interested in did a John. Now I cry myself to sleep.
by xWitt October 20, 2017
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3
Lusting after a young girl with the intention of postponing a sexual proposition for an undetermined number of years.

Often the perpetrator will announce the number of years he intends to wait in a grumbled tone.
So my little sister just started junior school. Yeah, she is doing really well, better than I was at that age. Hey John, I won't be in lesson because I've got to go and pick her up at three.

Four more years...
by Graham Marsh October 24, 2004
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4
to unexplainably lose all your money in five hands of poker
'Damnit five hands and im all out!'
'shut yo jibba jabber and stop doing a john!'
*crys then begins to masterbate*
by lewis B October 01, 2007
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