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DNAmned if you do and DNAmned if you don't

In other words, it may not exactly be a "stroll on Easy Street" for you no matter what da result of da paternity-test shows --- a prime example would be dat even if said test does indeed prove dat you're not da love-baby's daddy, da test's in-da-thousands-of-dollars cost may be somewhat comparable to what you'd have hadda spend for child-support, anyway.
Good luck on getting a refund for da momentous cost of a paternity-test if said test proves dat indeed you are not da child's biological father (see "pap smear", definition #14); you might be better off to simply start making support-payments; it can definitely be a "DNAmned if you do and DNAmned if you don't" situation!
That one charismatic, athletic, bright, loyal, smart, and kind mfer who gets all the bitches.
Person A: "Have you heard D Nam pulled another baddie?"

Person B: "For real? Thats's the 50th time this week.."
D Nam by Lamelothegoat February 27, 2024
That one charismatic, attractive, bright, kind, and smart guy with all the baddies.
Person A: "Have you heard? D Nam pulled another baddie!"

Person B: "For real? Thats's the 50th time this week.."
D Nam by Fishinglover2024 February 27, 2024
An Irish phrase meaning shit, derived from ass
(Not to be confused with the literal description of one's buttocks)
"Did you hear the song Aylek$ dropped?"
"Hardly. Her music is absolute cheeks."

"My boyfriend say LaFlame is cheeks."
"Tell your boyfriend I said it's his mixtape that's cheeks."
Cheeks by thecartisan April 26, 2020

sans sheriff 

Lawless use of fonts or typography, with no regard to aesthetics or legibility
I'm putting this CV straight in the bin. Written totally sans sheriff.
sans sheriff by Jamarley July 3, 2019

Breadhead 

Someone who is addicted to obtaining money and building wealth. A money addict and fanatic. Breadheads often work more than one full-time job, and some even participate in illicit activities to "obtain the bread".
A breadhead is like a crackhead, but for money instead of crack.
Breadhead by 🅱️ U S 3 4 8 March 30, 2022