crystal closet 

A closet so thinly obscured that it's clearer than glass. It's crystal.

That dude Bob think's he's straight, but he's got a crystal closet.

crystal closet by Queerxtian December 11, 2016

crystal closet 

someone who says they're really straight (them being in the closet) but in reality, they're gayer than all rainbows combined, but they don't wanna admit it (hence the term crystal closet, because everyone except them can see through their closeted behavior. the trans equivalent for this would be "egg".)

x: have you seen z? they're so gay it's turning me homophobic, like come out already!
y: typical crystal closet behavior, they'll grow out of it (i hope)
z: IM NOT GAY ISTG

crystal closet by Toh.gayest.show September 4, 2023

crystal close 

Someone who is uncomfortable with abnormality. Someone who does not embrace eccentricities. Someone who does not have a decent sense of humor. Someone who is naive. Someone who lacks general intelligence.

"Oh hey its Crystal Close...."

crystal close by Crystal Falls April 25, 2010

Crystal "Ide close it" 

Named "Crystal Ide" at birth, a person who is proficient in the art of closing deals, and is therefore named, Crystal "Ide close it."

Danny Wojcicki removed Crystal "Ide close it" from the group.

Crystal "Ide close it" by jmcclure26 January 10, 2018