crack turtle 

A crack turtle is someone whose mental capabilities have gone slow due to the excessive use of substances.

Jerry: "Oh man, I just needed two hours to take my morning dump and brush my teeth."
Tom: "You're such a fucking crack turtle, Jerry. You should consider throwing the pipe away."

crack turtle by thepranxter March 21, 2018

crack turtle 

Someone who's extraordinarily slow, maybe due to an overconsumption of narcotics.

A: Man, I don't drink wine on Thursdays.
B: It's Friday, you crack turtle.

crack turtle by thepranxter July 31, 2018

turtle crack

when your penis is slightly visible through the zipper that you forgot to close.

Babji walked out of the bedroom, once again with the zipper of his shorts open, creeping through the small crevice was the tip of his man junk. This was a classic case of turtle crack.

turtle crack by GBond April 25, 2010

turtling the crack

Anal sex with a condom on. The condom is a protective shell.

"Bro, were you rawdogging her last night?"
"No way man, I was turtling the crack!"

turtling the crack by Your_WorstNightmare_ November 24, 2025