When an individual says something out of the ordinary, possibly erotic, homosexual, or suspect, and you choose not to identify with that individual by saying the phrase.
John: I ate her ass after she shat and didn’t wipe; I got some chocolate and ass last night Me: What in the goddamn fuck? Couldn’t be me.
Usually follows “Imagine ___.” Can be replaced by, “can’t relate.” A subtle way to make fun of something someone does. Can also be used to tell someone what you’re doing.
teacher: max, please move to the front row, away from your friends.
bella: imagine being moved to the front row, couldn’t be me.
//or//
bella, calling max: imagine being in school right now, couldn’t be me.
Usually a word followed by a homosexual, stupid, or unfunny comment, or just to make fun of someone who's bad at video games, or retarded . Usally starting with Imagine.. ____ then followed by Couldn't be me
"Damn Logan imagine being a simp, Couldn't be me"
"Damn bro imaginedying first, Couldn't be me"
"Damn bro imagine being gay, Couldn't be me"
Someone or something that bites your ankles.
To a postman, an ankle biter is often known as a dog.
To an adult, an ankle bitermay be a toddler.
To hikers, an ankle biter is sometimes a tick.
And so on.
When a man will search for hours to find something that is laying out in the open on a table. Items are often easily found by a women.
Man: "I have been searching for hours for keys."
Woman: "You mean the ones sitting there on the coffee table?"
Man: "Where?"
Woman: "Right there in the middle of that table."
Man: "oh, must have been Male Pattern Blindness"