The idea that porn is the sole purpose of ones existence and that usually people under this ideology usually tend to beat their dick like David Pelzer gets ragdolled by his mother.
by TrickByTrade December 6, 2020
Initially an internet version of the Wojack guy, a Coomer is a male chronic masturbator, an Incel on steroids, who lives in front of his PC consuming porn all day, and having no other interest in life other that to reach his next orgasm.
But the meme has grown, naturally.
Coomer now refers to any young man who is solely concentrated on an almost psychopathic need to chase the next dopamine hit, be it masturbation, game score, high of any kind. Coomers are now utterly useless self-pleasuring addicts, to the exclusion of any future career development or frankly any future plans at all beyond the strict need feed their addictions.
But the meme has grown, naturally.
Coomer now refers to any young man who is solely concentrated on an almost psychopathic need to chase the next dopamine hit, be it masturbation, game score, high of any kind. Coomers are now utterly useless self-pleasuring addicts, to the exclusion of any future career development or frankly any future plans at all beyond the strict need feed their addictions.
Haven't seen Geoff in ages? Yeah, since he lost his job and his girlfriend, he's locked himself in his room with packs of beer, a pack of toilet roll and Pizza on speed dial. Even skipped his mother's funeral. Total coomer now. Sad.
by Macnadoodle October 10, 2021
A coomer, (Pronounced COOM-er), is an elusive creature that spends its whole life desperately trying to reach the next best nut. It is classed as a critically endangered species. The coomer was once thought to be nothing but fiction due to the rarity of these beasts.
Not much is known about the habits of these elusive creatures, but they are said to reside in tiny rooms that reek of mildew and B.O., floor littered with custom-made waifu pillows and the coom of the coomer itself. They are said to be mostly solitary, though there have been half a dozen cases of supposed coomer packs being sighted in the wild.
It is said that, if disturbed, the coomer will become enraged, and will attack the offending creature. It has been reported that a coomer may even coom upon its enemies, some say even stuffing them into homemade COOM jars on occasion.
Not much is known about the habits of these elusive creatures, but they are said to reside in tiny rooms that reek of mildew and B.O., floor littered with custom-made waifu pillows and the coom of the coomer itself. They are said to be mostly solitary, though there have been half a dozen cases of supposed coomer packs being sighted in the wild.
It is said that, if disturbed, the coomer will become enraged, and will attack the offending creature. It has been reported that a coomer may even coom upon its enemies, some say even stuffing them into homemade COOM jars on occasion.
My best friend went missing in 1987 during a hike in a remote area of alaska. The case has never been solved, but researchers say it is likely that he was taken by a wild coomer.
by Emomemeo June 17, 2020
A variation of the meme doomer. Used to make fun of people obsessed with porn/masturbation. The term first originated on 4chan. Also see coom
Guy 1: Just watched a 4 hour porno and I came 20 times! Man that felt good.
Guy 2: Dude, you’re a fucking coomer.
Guy 2: Dude, you’re a fucking coomer.
by nlolhere May 28, 2020
A man, typically in his 20s, who's sole existence revolves around Cooming.
A Coomer is an expert masturbator.
A Coomer is an expert masturbator.
Joe has spent so many years as a Coomer that his right arm is now freakishly muscular and he cannot think about anything other than his next coom.
by bongdiddler September 4, 2019
A name typically seen in the boarda of 4chan. A coomer is someone who is addicted to pornography and masturbation to the point where their whole life is affected by it. Coomers' life orbits around excessive masturbation and often affects their personal relationships.
John: Why didn't you show up at class?
Kyle: I was horny and decided to stay home and jerk off.
John: Damn, did 4chan turn you into a coomer? It will start affecting your grades.
Kyle: I was horny and decided to stay home and jerk off.
John: Damn, did 4chan turn you into a coomer? It will start affecting your grades.
by POLACK September 4, 2020
A coomer is someone who excessively mastubates for the dopamine rush and the sense of fullfillment. Usually masturbates up to seven times a day,