Any (usually) white American male that attempts, sometimes successfully, to convince everyone around them that they are not a bro, despite a certain and varying penchant for decidedly bro-like activities or beliefs; frequently using sexual experience to demand respect from one's friends, expressing a desire to fight others, an enjoyment and subsequent short-lived obsession with whatever mainstream rap song is currently "hot", open objectification of women, using ability and ever-readiness to drink heavily to assert dominance and respect within a social group, etc. are all telltale signs of a Closet Bro's true nature.
Note: Closet Bros know on some level what they are, and are afraid to admit, perhaps even to themselves, their bro-tendencies. They guard themselves against reality by vehemently proclaiming a hatred for bros; this only serves to aggravate the situation, making their bro-ness even more painfully obvious to their peers.
Note: Closet Bros know on some level what they are, and are afraid to admit, perhaps even to themselves, their bro-tendencies. They guard themselves against reality by vehemently proclaiming a hatred for bros; this only serves to aggravate the situation, making their bro-ness even more painfully obvious to their peers.
Example One
Mike: Hey man, I heard you were hanging out with Vanessa. How's that going?
Kyle: Dude, I hit it and quit it. That bitch don't mean sh-
Mike: Closet Bro! You!
Example Two
Dave: So Kyle was giving me a ride home, right? And we're sitting at a stoplight, when all of a sudden he turns on the radio and starts blasting a T Pain song. I just opened my door and got out.
Paul: I always kind of suspected that guy was a bro.
Mike: Hey man, I heard you were hanging out with Vanessa. How's that going?
Kyle: Dude, I hit it and quit it. That bitch don't mean sh-
Mike: Closet Bro! You!
Example Two
Dave: So Kyle was giving me a ride home, right? And we're sitting at a stoplight, when all of a sudden he turns on the radio and starts blasting a T Pain song. I just opened my door and got out.
Paul: I always kind of suspected that guy was a bro.
by Pharg March 10, 2009
Get the Closet Bro mug.A girl who likes subnoize bands (ie. KmK, King Spade, Hed Pe, DGAF) but doesn't dress/act like a annoying slut.
by RaeMac January 7, 2010
Get the Closet Bro Hoe mug.Related Words
A person who has yet to come out of the closet as a bronsexual. Usually starting off sentences " I'm not a LeBron fan but". Then proceeds to show a defensive demeanor about LeBron James.
by LeBron James haters United July 21, 2015
Get the Closet Bronsexual mug.by SploogeTheFish September 19, 2011
Get the Closet Brony mug.An annoying NBA fanboy who secretly loves LeBron James but appears to be a LeBron hater for everyone else on the internet. They're Bronsexuals with retarded midset. Closet Bronsexuals are actively spouting non-sense LeBron stats or any LBJ career lows (from his rookie year up to his 8 point game) in any non-LBJ related topics. These fanboys literally fooled many NBA fans thinking that all LeBron Haters (LBJ fanboys who pretends to be LBJ Haters) are dumb
Notable Closet Bronsexuals
- Henry Rivera (active Closet Bronsexual)
- Jack Horford (Draymond Green dickrider from 2016-2018)
- AJ Walkin (2012-2018)
- Justin Miller (2017-201?)
- Henry Rivera (active Closet Bronsexual)
- Jack Horford (Draymond Green dickrider from 2016-2018)
- AJ Walkin (2012-2018)
- Justin Miller (2017-201?)
by Unicornication June 24, 2019
Get the Closet Bronsexual mug.In short, a bromo in disguise. One who goes out of his way to buy a car in Dallas on the same weekend his friends happen to be heading to Oklahoma City (without a guitar). They have random plans to see Hootie and the Blowfish at a casino for no real reason but Closet Bromos somehow always get "sucked into" the trip.
Signs of Closet Bromo activity may include...
- the purchase of a guitar
- the purchase of guitar lessons
- a dusty guitar "in the closet" because they spend too much time dreaming of how Hootie's nuts would taste.
Signs of Closet Bromo activity may include...
- the purchase of a guitar
- the purchase of guitar lessons
- a dusty guitar "in the closet" because they spend too much time dreaming of how Hootie's nuts would taste.
by GFord November 10, 2008
Get the Closet Bromo mug.Any person who is in the process of becoming a bro by completing bro trials or other equal feats to achieve the title of "bro". I.e, someone who wants to be a bro but is incapable at the moment. These people might be:
1. Nerds
2. Girls
3. People over the age of 27
1. Nerds
2. Girls
3. People over the age of 27
Bro 1: Bro, that nerd is starting to bulk up.
Bro 2: Yeah man, I think I saw him at the gym the other. With out his books!
Bro 1: Dude, he's totes a closet bromosexual.
Bro 1: Dude my friend Emily is totes one of the guys, she even hooked me up with her hot friend!
Bro 2: Nice bro, that's one of the biggest bro trials to complete. She is such a closet bromosexual!
Bro 2: Yeah man, I think I saw him at the gym the other. With out his books!
Bro 1: Dude, he's totes a closet bromosexual.
Bro 1: Dude my friend Emily is totes one of the guys, she even hooked me up with her hot friend!
Bro 2: Nice bro, that's one of the biggest bro trials to complete. She is such a closet bromosexual!
by AkRaptorJesus November 27, 2011
Get the closet bromosexual mug.