NEO-CLASSICAL: It's new age classical music.

Jason Becker is the shit man!!!!

He's the best fucking classical guitarist today.
"24 Capricci Per Violino Solo and Speed Metal Symphony are fucking awesome."

"Yeah, Becker is the most awesome classical metal guitarist I've heard."
by subhumanrhythm November 08, 2007
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"this music still moves people today een if its 200 yrs old"

it can still move retarded idiots who dont understand music and ddint evolve their musical taste

high iq ppl listen only to electronic

"thre is no word to describe beethoven"

i can describe this as shit coz ur too retarded to know that shithoven is the def of shit

"plants listen rather to ludwig van bitchhoven"

plants listen to classic shit music coz they dont have brains and have low intelligence

who likes old pussy classic music has no brain to understand real music

electronic is too complicated for plants, monotone emotionless violine or piano sound keeps them in the extasy
mozart: yo biatchhoven dont copy my classical shit, u dumb shit!

biatchhoven: but i cant hear anything, i will suck ur cock if u will give me sonata

mozart: u won bitchhoven, now suck it bitch
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Considered a type of music however unlike music it doesn't involve computer generated beats and even more shockingly, no lyrics about bustin' a whitey's ass with lead!

Classical music has no true emotion behind it. True lyricists like Nelly speak from the heart. Classical doesn't have any lyrics so you don't know what they were thinking when they wrote that filth.

The majority of listeners are old people who refuse to move on because if they heard how good new music was compared to this dribble they would kill themselves because it would undoubtably prove we live in the greatest generation. Classical Music is so old, it was made when John Lennon wasn't a corpse (I know that he is a rock loser but they were all invented at the creation of the universe.)

Everybody knows that Mozart only got famous when he started beefing with the Beethoven man. During their sets, they would get semi-naked girls to dance around on the piano unlike the true artists of today who let their beautiful masterpieces speak for themselves.

Anyone can make classical music.
1: Think of some random notes (Not even beats!)
2: Repeat step 1 six times
3: Invite 25 of ya gang around
4: Give them a violin or trombone or something else (NOT a turntable to be seen!)
5: Give each person a different sheet with random notes
6: Record the result
7: Get some director who is old to play it during their movie.

8 Mile is the best movie ever made and that ended with 'Lose Yourself'. No Classical in that. Only REAL music.

The reason classical is only played during movies nowadays is because:
1: If they played rap, people would focus more on the wicked beats than the plot.
2: All directors are older than 30 because they lived when dinosaurs ate people but unfortunely they lived.
3: Rap artists like 50 cent have too much dignity to let their art be given to shitty films like 'Civtizen Cane'

Classical only used to be popular because it was 'cool' at the time and true music like rap wasn't invented yet.
Emotional music comes from the heart, not from fucking black dots written on a paper with lines.

Classical is boring. When is the last time you saw classical music on MTV or at no.1 in the charts? I rest my case.
NOT music: Ludwig Van Beethoven
Music: 50 cent, Chingy, Nelly, Ludacris, Ja Rule, The Game (Not so much now, since 50 cent is the best and 50 cent hates The Game, that means he sucks, even the old stuff is now crap)
by Real Gangsta in da House July 12, 2005
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In general, boring old shit that stuck up people lacking a soul obsess about. Certain exceptions to this rule may exist. Namely, these are anything I like that can be labeled as "classical."
Let's go listen to some classical music. Wait, no, I'd rather get shot in the head.
by Chrisssssssssss32432 October 08, 2006
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I thought I'd listen to some classical music made by constipated cows so I put on some Beethoven.
by bogosuperelf November 13, 2020
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