*Woman walks by with small child.*
Chav: Yo gash, you best make dat fing your holdin stop staring at me, I might have to box up its face gurl.
Woman: Excuse me do you want to say that again?
Chav: I said... *trails off because a huge man walks up to him, presumably the childs father.*
Man: What are you talking about you dirty chav?
Chav: Nothing- I was, er... *chav pussy runs away.*
Chav: Yo gash, you best make dat fing your holdin stop staring at me, I might have to box up its face gurl.
Woman: Excuse me do you want to say that again?
Chav: I said... *trails off because a huge man walks up to him, presumably the childs father.*
Man: What are you talking about you dirty chav?
Chav: Nothing- I was, er... *chav pussy runs away.*
by [.x.your lil mistake.x.] June 3, 2007
An American definition of chav because most of these definitions on here are British:
Symptoms of a chav:
Adidas, Air Jordans or any expensive sneakers
White tees
Jerseys
Chains
Baggy jeans that don't fit
A pissed off look on their face
An ipod
An expensive cell phone
Is most likely white
Probably comes from a middle class family but pretends to be ghetto
Listens to rap
Uses the words: mad, tight, retarded, gay, yo, ayo, and often typ3s Lik3 tHiS.
They hate emos and goths, or anyone they think is emo or goth. They often accuse people of being goth even when they're not.
They hate homosexuals
They're very ignorant and arrogant and can't think for themselves, they always do what they're friends are doing
They often vandalize
They fight all the time
They think they're tougher than they really are and accuse people of "runnin' their mouth"
Basically just really stupid neanderthals.
Symptoms of a chav:
Adidas, Air Jordans or any expensive sneakers
White tees
Jerseys
Chains
Baggy jeans that don't fit
A pissed off look on their face
An ipod
An expensive cell phone
Is most likely white
Probably comes from a middle class family but pretends to be ghetto
Listens to rap
Uses the words: mad, tight, retarded, gay, yo, ayo, and often typ3s Lik3 tHiS.
They hate emos and goths, or anyone they think is emo or goth. They often accuse people of being goth even when they're not.
They hate homosexuals
They're very ignorant and arrogant and can't think for themselves, they always do what they're friends are doing
They often vandalize
They fight all the time
They think they're tougher than they really are and accuse people of "runnin' their mouth"
Basically just really stupid neanderthals.
So you're walking down the street and you see a pissed off looking white boy wearing Nike shorts that sag to his knees or baggy jeans. He's wearing a white tee or a jersey of some kind, with a chain or two. He's wearing 200 dollar Air Jordans or Adidas. When you look at him he says, "What the fuck are you staring at?"
He's a chav.
He's a chav.
by Sarah <333 August 28, 2009
by Keese September 2, 2005
by Yunne November 21, 2007
those really stupid people you see wandering around suburban areas such as the local parks and bus stations who (for girls) have their hair tied back reaaaaaaaaaally tighty and many of millions of scrunchies and lots of gold jewelry
by Anonymous March 10, 2003
Chav a greatly increasing disease and threat to our immediate society.
Chav a young male who hangs round Mcdonalds smoking in his "gang" looking out for young children or single people to either steal or attack.He always has lots of FAKE gold jewelery who wears his cap at 90 degrees, lots of berberry and tracksuits (always adidas or nike etc). Chavette a female chav who wears big hoop earrings she is holding a cigarette in 1 hand and a pram handle in the other at the age of 16(the legel age of sex) already with 3 children and a 8 year old daughter(mini chav.)
All chavs have to hang araound in "gangs" and beat up people who are only 4 or 5(it happened to me once i was 7 there were 5 14 year olds chavs I really didn't hurt much lol)they always look for weak people even then they're normally too much for them so they always have a chaviot or chavmobile ready to run away in, it was 20 inch tires and a plank of wood for the spoiler.
Chav a young male who hangs round Mcdonalds smoking in his "gang" looking out for young children or single people to either steal or attack.He always has lots of FAKE gold jewelery who wears his cap at 90 degrees, lots of berberry and tracksuits (always adidas or nike etc). Chavette a female chav who wears big hoop earrings she is holding a cigarette in 1 hand and a pram handle in the other at the age of 16(the legel age of sex) already with 3 children and a 8 year old daughter(mini chav.)
All chavs have to hang araound in "gangs" and beat up people who are only 4 or 5(it happened to me once i was 7 there were 5 14 year olds chavs I really didn't hurt much lol)they always look for weak people even then they're normally too much for them so they always have a chaviot or chavmobile ready to run away in, it was 20 inch tires and a plank of wood for the spoiler.
~10 chavs all smoking outside Tesco's ~ 1 emo~
*emo looks at them then looks away in disgust*
chav #1 : Oi watcha lookin at??
chav #2:yea u wanna fite bruv
chav #3: yea mate comon lets haveus a fite comon
emo:All i was doing was walking through here I'm not looking for a fight
chav#1: oi u watd u say bout my mum
emo# i did not say anything about your mum i simply said I don't want a fight
chav#3: Oi rite now u cant get way wiv saying shit like that bout ma boi
chav#2 :yea comon we have usself a fite
*emo walks up to them punches chav#1 in the nose and all chavs run away back 2 Mcdonalds*
All chavs should die take up chav hunting not fox hunting
Clean the world up kill a chav today
*emo looks at them then looks away in disgust*
chav #1 : Oi watcha lookin at??
chav #2:yea u wanna fite bruv
chav #3: yea mate comon lets haveus a fite comon
emo:All i was doing was walking through here I'm not looking for a fight
chav#1: oi u watd u say bout my mum
emo# i did not say anything about your mum i simply said I don't want a fight
chav#3: Oi rite now u cant get way wiv saying shit like that bout ma boi
chav#2 :yea comon we have usself a fite
*emo walks up to them punches chav#1 in the nose and all chavs run away back 2 Mcdonalds*
All chavs should die take up chav hunting not fox hunting
Clean the world up kill a chav today
by emo_hunter_of_chavs June 11, 2007
A prime example of regressive evolution. What's left over now that Britain's working class has become middle class.
Chavs tend to be either skinny and physically underdeveloped due to excessive consumption of illegal stimulants and long periods running from the police, or morbidly obese due to a diet consisting primarily of any American Burger Corp's finest offerings.
Chavs can often be found loitering in large herds, engaging in a range of antisocial behaviour around urban landmarks such as bus stations, shopping malls or McDonald's - basically anywhere they may come into contact with normal folk whom they can try to intimidate from within the safety of the chav herd.
The Chav female, or chavette, reaches breeding age at the age of 9, at which time her pregnancy to family friend "Uncle Dazza" (aged 26) may be publicised on the front page of the Sun newspaper. This may also lead to an appearance on daytime TV and a period of incarceration for "Uncle Dazza".
Bizarrely (see mating section below), elders in Chav communities often have an obsession with Paedophiles ("Pedos") which is often whipped into a frenzy by the British Tabloid press. This prompts one of the Chav communities' quaintest customs - "Pedo" outings, at which Chav young are taught the basics of identifying and dealing with Pedos by (generally female) members of the Chav community. During this event, which often run in summer and take the form of a kind of community Festival, everyone from "Paediatricians" to "Podiatrists", or even just slightly beardy middle aged men, can expect to have their windows smashed, their property vandalised, or possibly even their bodies beaten by a horde of placard wielding, chain smoking Chav grandmothers (even though most of them are barely out of their 30s). In light of this, many civil libertarians are alarmed at government moves to publicise the names of known "pedos" to the communities in which they live. It is likley, however, that identifying an offender will involve a form of higher brain activity, such as reading long words, thus mollifying a significant element of the vigilante threat. Generally, middle aged men with scratchy beards and hygiene problems should avoid Chav communities during "Outing" festivals, as should anybody called Pete, or with a "Ped", "Pod" or similar in their job title or name.
Chavettes are known for their fecundity, and can typically be expected to have a brood of 4 children to unlocatable or jailbird fathers by the age of 17, thus allowing them a range of state support and childcare, freeing up more of their time to loiter in chav herds seeking out new breeding partners whilst "mashed" on alcopop.
The mating ritual for a chav is interesting, particularly in so far as there is often a substantial age difference between the male and female breeding partners (often a decade or more in favour of the male). The male is generally either a relative/ close family friend of the female, or a complete unknown. Usually, mating begins when the male identifies his partner amongst a crowd of loud female chavettes in a communal setting such as JD Whetherspoons. Her receptiveness is often signified by the role of belly fat protruding from her boob tube, the shortness of her skirt, the taughtness of her Croydon facelift, her willingness to flash her diamante thong on demand, and above all her level of inebriation. Once he has identified her as likley to be compliant, the next step is to ply her with more alcohol, and see off competitors with a series of intimidating stares, or even violence if neccessary (although this may result in an early exit from the mating arena). Mating is usually in a secluded location (e.g. bent over the wheelie bins outside).
After a gestation period, usually of 9 months, the Chavette gives birth to an underweight baby who is often addicted to nicotine from the womb. She will typically name her young after a Movie star, boyband member or footballer (Romeo, Jordan, Keanu etc.) or after the place he was conceived (Cinderellas etc.). It is rare for the male Chav to have any part in the upbringing of his young, prefering instead to lodge on a succession of friend's couches until the CSA can no longer locate him and responsibility for his genetic legacy is duly passed to the state.
Chavs can be upwardly mobile. After a short spell in a correctional facility, many of them dispense with twoccing cars and may find cash in hand work as a doorman or labourer. Some of them may graduate to owning a white van, thus signifying that they own their own business or have a contract, which they will then use to tailgate other road users around the main roads of Britain whilst making oscillatory hand gestures.
Chavs tend to be either skinny and physically underdeveloped due to excessive consumption of illegal stimulants and long periods running from the police, or morbidly obese due to a diet consisting primarily of any American Burger Corp's finest offerings.
Chavs can often be found loitering in large herds, engaging in a range of antisocial behaviour around urban landmarks such as bus stations, shopping malls or McDonald's - basically anywhere they may come into contact with normal folk whom they can try to intimidate from within the safety of the chav herd.
The Chav female, or chavette, reaches breeding age at the age of 9, at which time her pregnancy to family friend "Uncle Dazza" (aged 26) may be publicised on the front page of the Sun newspaper. This may also lead to an appearance on daytime TV and a period of incarceration for "Uncle Dazza".
Bizarrely (see mating section below), elders in Chav communities often have an obsession with Paedophiles ("Pedos") which is often whipped into a frenzy by the British Tabloid press. This prompts one of the Chav communities' quaintest customs - "Pedo" outings, at which Chav young are taught the basics of identifying and dealing with Pedos by (generally female) members of the Chav community. During this event, which often run in summer and take the form of a kind of community Festival, everyone from "Paediatricians" to "Podiatrists", or even just slightly beardy middle aged men, can expect to have their windows smashed, their property vandalised, or possibly even their bodies beaten by a horde of placard wielding, chain smoking Chav grandmothers (even though most of them are barely out of their 30s). In light of this, many civil libertarians are alarmed at government moves to publicise the names of known "pedos" to the communities in which they live. It is likley, however, that identifying an offender will involve a form of higher brain activity, such as reading long words, thus mollifying a significant element of the vigilante threat. Generally, middle aged men with scratchy beards and hygiene problems should avoid Chav communities during "Outing" festivals, as should anybody called Pete, or with a "Ped", "Pod" or similar in their job title or name.
Chavettes are known for their fecundity, and can typically be expected to have a brood of 4 children to unlocatable or jailbird fathers by the age of 17, thus allowing them a range of state support and childcare, freeing up more of their time to loiter in chav herds seeking out new breeding partners whilst "mashed" on alcopop.
The mating ritual for a chav is interesting, particularly in so far as there is often a substantial age difference between the male and female breeding partners (often a decade or more in favour of the male). The male is generally either a relative/ close family friend of the female, or a complete unknown. Usually, mating begins when the male identifies his partner amongst a crowd of loud female chavettes in a communal setting such as JD Whetherspoons. Her receptiveness is often signified by the role of belly fat protruding from her boob tube, the shortness of her skirt, the taughtness of her Croydon facelift, her willingness to flash her diamante thong on demand, and above all her level of inebriation. Once he has identified her as likley to be compliant, the next step is to ply her with more alcohol, and see off competitors with a series of intimidating stares, or even violence if neccessary (although this may result in an early exit from the mating arena). Mating is usually in a secluded location (e.g. bent over the wheelie bins outside).
After a gestation period, usually of 9 months, the Chavette gives birth to an underweight baby who is often addicted to nicotine from the womb. She will typically name her young after a Movie star, boyband member or footballer (Romeo, Jordan, Keanu etc.) or after the place he was conceived (Cinderellas etc.). It is rare for the male Chav to have any part in the upbringing of his young, prefering instead to lodge on a succession of friend's couches until the CSA can no longer locate him and responsibility for his genetic legacy is duly passed to the state.
Chavs can be upwardly mobile. After a short spell in a correctional facility, many of them dispense with twoccing cars and may find cash in hand work as a doorman or labourer. Some of them may graduate to owning a white van, thus signifying that they own their own business or have a contract, which they will then use to tailgate other road users around the main roads of Britain whilst making oscillatory hand gestures.
Listen to the sound of Urban Britain... Can you hear it? Yes.. the sound of Police helicopters... the sound of "Pedos" gently having their windows smashed to a crescendo of jeering.... the sound of a 5 year old boy being mauled by his drunken chav father's pit-bull terrier as he dozes off to the football on sky......
by Turku Bentu July 4, 2006