Monkey Branching 

Getting your next relationship set up before dumping your current S/O. Generally involves cheating (at least emotionally) on your current partner with the intended future partner. Refers to playing on the monkeybars, where you don't let go of the first bar until you've grabbed on the second.

Bill: "Well, your brother just sent the Save The Dates for his third marriage - they haven't even finalized the divorce yet!"

Joe: "Yeah, the monkey branching SOB did the same for his second marriage as well - all his relationships 'overlap,' if ya know what I mean."

OR

Joe: "Sue and I decided to try an open relationship."

Bill: "I dunno, sounds like she's monkey branching to her *next* relationship."

Monkey Branching by Mai Ainsel March 25, 2022

Human Branding

A term used for degrading a victim in torture. This can be done by forced nudity and humiliation. Human Branding is a more exciting way unless you're used to burning people, that is.

Human Branding is quite self-explanatory. You grab an iron brand, heat it up, and stick it on the person wherever you please. Rapists and Paedophiles should have it placed on both testicles and face. That's after carefully slicing the tip of the penis "to put such predators out of use before being released onto our streets" and to assist the prey identify the predator.

Think of it like giving an extremely painful tattoo to them. It does cause a good amount of pain, after all nobody likes having burning hot metal pressed onto their skin, or in the Rapist and Paedophiles eyes "Ball-sacks".

Because of how livestock are branded, human branding can be seen as a way of showing the victim's reduction in the status of their life. It's almost as if they are property now.

Judge: "For your despicable and hospitable acts I sentence you to life with Human Branding"

Human Branding by CannabisKings January 17, 2020

Brambling 

The process of a seemingly heterosexual male discovering his sexuality and converting to homosexuality with a strong preference for petite Asian males.

Comment: I can’t believe it. Matt was hanging out with us last week watching football, and now all he can think about are these tiny Asian boys.

Response: I know man, he’s brambling.

Brambling by JShots February 20, 2019

Monkey Branching 

when a girl already has a boyfriend but she gives her number to guys that she meets and flirts as if she were single. she's basically branching off from her boyfriend and establishing backups.

yo dude I saw your girl at starbucks giving her number to some guy. I don't think she saw me. it looks like she's monkey branching, you should dump her.

Monkey Branching by soulblk4000 December 2, 2010

Brandting 

The act of sucking dicks with your butthole.

Mike went to a gay bar to go Brandting.

Brandting by Ziplocsandwich December 16, 2022

braning 

Looking away while important things are going on.

Braning can sometimes be warging to other places, animals, or times. It can also simply be navigating to places other than where crucial events are taking place.

Sorry boss, I was braning there for a second. What are the earth shattering organizational changes you were talking about that will impact our bottom line?

braning by melisandre_rapunzel_targaryen May 2, 2019

branching

Branching- The act of cutting random tree branches from random houses and placing them on people’s doorsteps. Optional: Add a fake love letter with cheesy tree branch joke

Kelsey: Hey i'm bored
Amir: I saw a big tree earlier... wanna go branching?
Kelsey: Yeah! I'll bring the truck!

branching by aymurrr August 18, 2011