Benchmarketing is the process of comparing one'sbusiness marketing processes to industry bests practices to find the ideal solution.
Steve: How do I know which is the right solution for my business?
Consultant: We can start by benchmarketing your business needs to match you with the best providers in the industry.
The act of promoting software or hardware by publishing bogus benchmarks with cooked up numbers that makes the product look better than its predecessors and the competition.
As an advanced technique, have some blogger push the numbers instead of putting it out in a press release.
Cigarette: Northern slang for a cigarette, used oft by mashed up mancunian ravers becasue of the resemblance of a hot(electric)stove to the end of a lit cigarette. Originated circa 1991 in the early halcyon days of the rave culture; we speculate during a drug fuelled hallucination by said manc.
'fuck me noel, i am bolloxed, is that a ciggy in your mouth, or the stove from me 'nans kitchen'/
General use: 'Give us a stove you cunt'