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Fuck me sideways running backwards with a monkey wrench

Banker: You owe me 1.000.000.000$

Me: Fuck me sideways running backwards with a monkey wrench

Backyard Monkey 

The act of an under-40 year old male going to the doctor and being given a rectal exam. The surprise on the patient's face is akin to walking outside and seeing a monkey in his backyard.
Damn man, I had a doctor appointment today and wouldn't you know, he gave me a backyard monkey.
Backyard Monkey by Sacink December 27, 2011