asshole rules
asshole rules by kaseym86 April 29, 2024
Urban Dictionary Merch
Your favorite words on things you can wear, drink from, read, or give to a friend.
The Urban Dictionary Store sells gifts you’ll have to explain.
10 Rules Of Asshole Decorum
A set of guidelines that applies to those who which to be found within the Goldilocks Zone of Acceptable Asshold'em.
1. Consider whether or not your assholish response is inflicted on someone that deserves it.
2. Treat customer service people well, but not TOO well.
3. Do not be an asshole to your significant other.
4. Be clear to people that you are to spend a prolonged amount of time with that you are an asshole.
5. If around men, pretend that your asshole comment is just a joke. If around women, reserve all assholish behaviors to an absent mutual acquaintance.
6. When applying an assholish generalization of a specific group (see rule #5 for an example), be sure to create plausible deniability by saying “not all” followed by the targets of ridicule.
7. Select certain opinions of your opponent as amusing, but not worthy of an actual response.
8. Be interchangeably and inconsistently nice to people you are often an asshole too.
9. Don’t be an asshole to someone you see as beneath you in the social hierarchy, such as the homeless, children or developmentally challenged.
10. Do not be afraid to break rules #1-9 every now and again.
1. Consider whether or not your assholish response is inflicted on someone that deserves it.
2. Treat customer service people well, but not TOO well.
3. Do not be an asshole to your significant other.
4. Be clear to people that you are to spend a prolonged amount of time with that you are an asshole.
5. If around men, pretend that your asshole comment is just a joke. If around women, reserve all assholish behaviors to an absent mutual acquaintance.
6. When applying an assholish generalization of a specific group (see rule #5 for an example), be sure to create plausible deniability by saying “not all” followed by the targets of ridicule.
7. Select certain opinions of your opponent as amusing, but not worthy of an actual response.
8. Be interchangeably and inconsistently nice to people you are often an asshole too.
9. Don’t be an asshole to someone you see as beneath you in the social hierarchy, such as the homeless, children or developmentally challenged.
10. Do not be afraid to break rules #1-9 every now and again.
"It's great to be an asshole, but you don’t want to be a total asshole. There's a balance that must be struck. Assholes who are total assholes suffer too much backlash for their nature and are generally considered insufferable by all. Thus, you must learn to follow proper asshole decorum and fall under the Goldilocks Zone of Acceptable Asshold'em. You have accomplished this when people say things about you like 'he's funny, but he's an asshole', or 'I like Dave, but he's kind of an asshole.' That's the Goldilocks zone. You want people to compliment you, or express fondness for you, but then immediately feel the need to point out that you’re an asshole. So here are 10 rules to be a proper asshole with impeccable asshole decorum."
-- TJ "The Amazing Atheist" Kirk, "10 Rules Of Asshole Decorum"
-- TJ "The Amazing Atheist" Kirk, "10 Rules Of Asshole Decorum"
10 Rules Of Asshole Decorum by The Logical Fallacy February 27, 2019
Related Words
Rule-breaker asshole
My friend joined my discord server to be a rule-breaker asshole, I am so mad.
That dude is such a rule-breaker asshole.
That dude is such a rule-breaker asshole.
Rule-breaker asshole by MindOfPika August 10, 2022
More from Urban Dictionary
Respectfully
Precedes or follows either a gratuitously disrespectful or honest remark, originated in New York City. Used in similar fashion to "no offense" or "to be honest," interchangeably.
Ya mans is wild buns, respectfully. Respectfully he's washed.
After school, The Modells on Jamaica Ave was active. Respectfully.
After school, The Modells on Jamaica Ave was active. Respectfully.
Respectfully by john quan the first December 20, 2020
Word of the Day on September 26, 2026
You met me at a very Chinese time in my life
Dante: "I wish I could be Nigerian, but I can't because I'm Chinese. You met me at a very Chinese time in my life."
You met me at a very Chinese time in my life by Sus Chad September 21, 2026
Word of the Day on September 25, 2026
crunchy
Adjective. Used to describe persons who have adjusted or altered their lifestyle for environmental reasons. Crunchy persons tend to be politically strongly left-leaning and may be additionally but not exclusively categorized as vegetarians, vegans, eco-tarians, conservationists, environmentalists, neo-hippies, tree huggers, nature enthusiasts, etc.
Also used to describe establishments where alternative foods and products are sold, i.e. natural food stores.
Modified derivative of granola.
Also used to describe establishments where alternative foods and products are sold, i.e. natural food stores.
Modified derivative of granola.
murderhobo
In a tabletop game, a murderhobo is a player who murders NPCs indiscriminately. This is normally derogatory, referring to a player who totally ignores quests, dialog, backstory, trade, world building etc.
The term is most common with Dungeons and Dragons, but it can be applied to most RPGs where the player is allowed to kill most quest-giving NPCs and NPC traders. E.g. Elder Scrolls, Fallout, Divinity original sin.
The term is most common with Dungeons and Dragons, but it can be applied to most RPGs where the player is allowed to kill most quest-giving NPCs and NPC traders. E.g. Elder Scrolls, Fallout, Divinity original sin.
DM: The sad little orphan girl tugs at Steve's trenchcoat to get his attention, and ask for help saving her pet dog from...
Steve: I'd like to roll a strength check against strangling the orphan.
Dave: I call dibs on the dog.
DM: You murderhobos disgust me.
Steve: I'd like to roll a strength check against strangling the orphan.
Dave: I call dibs on the dog.
DM: You murderhobos disgust me.
murderhobo by Loup&S September 9, 2021
Word of the Day on September 22, 2026
Whale
In sales terms, a whale is a prospect that is significantly larger than an organization’s average customer.
Whales are large and extremely difficult to close. Due to their immense size, they are highly sought-after.
A whale is typically identified at first by a whale hunter on the sales team, but often requires cross-discipline participation in order to close; this includes assistance from operations, engineering, creative, client success, and business development teams.
Whales are large and extremely difficult to close. Due to their immense size, they are highly sought-after.
A whale is typically identified at first by a whale hunter on the sales team, but often requires cross-discipline participation in order to close; this includes assistance from operations, engineering, creative, client success, and business development teams.