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Almondsexual 

Someone who is attracted to male, androgynous or nonbinary gendered people, but rarely females. In other words, the opposite of berrisexual
Person A: Hey, so, is there a sexuality where I'm only attracted to men and androgynous people, but not women, or am I just weird?
Person B: Actually, there is! It's called Almondsexual.
Person A: Oh, thanks!
Almondsexual by Esthrrnium October 30, 2023

Crotch Almonds 

Milica kicked James right in the crotch almonds.
Crotch Almonds by Niinaaaa July 30, 2017

Diving Almonds 

A moderate to brisk walk in an upward direction in attempt to burn off excess calories that were consumed in a corporate office building cafeteria.
"Hey Lynn, let's partake in some diving almonds after lunch in the stairwell!"
Diving Almonds by Oriental November 1, 2011

Ass Almonds 

Small tapered turd nuggets that distinctly resemble a small pile of discarded almonds in the bottom of the stool.
Ahhhhh man I’m hurting. I’d do anything to drop a juicy log. Instead I’m firing ass almonds.

I left the toilet in the staff bath looking like a freshly opened can of Blue Diamond ass almonds.
Ass Almonds by Dick Onchin December 13, 2021

Toasted Almonds 

When a guy farts really bad while sitting on a vinyl cafe booth and the gas escapes to the front of his crotch.
Holy crap man, I just toasted almonds!
Toasted Almonds by Lothar December 14, 2017

The almonds aren’t going to milk themselves 

A funny thing to reply with (because almonds don’t lactate) when somebody asks, “What are you doing up so early?”.
Kyle: What are you doing up so early?

Rob: The almonds aren’t going to milk themselves.

And then everyone claps 👏