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absolute fucking walnut 

What someone is when they fuck up in a stupendously amazing fashion or are just incredibly stupid in general. Must be used with the following inflection:
"You're an absolute FUCKing walnut!"
-After Dave finished his explanation why whites and blacks are different species-
"Dave, you're an absolute FUCKing walnut!"

Absolute Fucking Walnut 

The best insult known to man. Used by Dick Beater McFingers
Patrick: Dude, I just hit Tom's grandma with my truck! Shit, bro!..

Tristan: You ABSOLUTE FUCKING WALNUT!!!