Wildly mediocre

A common working dad and husband that lives a mundane life yet has a wild side. The jack of all trades. He is able to provide for his family, memorize every episode of house wives he has watched with his wife, yet be able to kill das boot in .06 seconds. While he enjoys teaching his toddler to catch a football, he also enjoys doing rails off urinals, telling everyone he’s German, and providing enough 10% ABV beers to a family reunion to get everyone drunk enough to tolerate him singing “Mr. Brightside” during karaoke time.

Katie “wow I’m feeling pretty buzzed. I only drank one of those beers that white collar dude gave me and I feel like fighting a bear.”

Jake “ That’s not your typical white collar dude. Sure, he’s got a tie on and that’s his wife and kid, but he just me when they leave He’s driving to Toledo to go to an underground midget fight club and he’s got money on the one he’s been selling the juice to. I’d steal clear, that guy is wildly mediocre.

Wildly mediocre by Hamsterjam October 20, 2019