Wig Cracker Share definition Flag A person who cracks one's wig and is, therefore, so obtuse and square as to give anyone who is hip a headache. Man, that cat's so square he just doesn't get it. He's such a wig cracker Wig Cracker by Beanaeb January 18, 2012 0 0 Get merch Get the Wig Cracker mug. Buy Now — $32.95 See more merch