Virtual Work Girlfriend

A relationship you developed with an exceptionally witty female colleague during the COVID pandemic while working remotely, despite having never met in person. The entire relationship is based on far too many zoom calls and slack chats talking about mindless work crap and how stupid and lame all your coworkers are. The top ranked virtual female friend receives the coveted label "girlfriend". An improvement over the traditional "work wife" in spite of being apparently lower on the hierarchy. This is because you don't share a physical space so there are fewer requirements to buy expensive, shiny things to keep her happy, and arguments can be conveniently ended with "internet issues".

Child 1 "Mom found out Dad was going to Austin to meet his virtual work girlfriend!"
Child 2 "Oh shit."

Virtual Work Girlfriend by Emperor Little Bits March 15, 2022

Get merch

Get the Virtual Work Girlfriend mug.

See more merch

Foot prisons

Socks. Annoying, sweat-causing, non-barefoot enducing, everyday socks.

The first thing I do when I take off my shoes, is rip off the foot prisons I had to wear inside them. That's why I prefer flip flops, even in winter!

Foot prisons by Jackalope Hunter December 13, 2022

Word of the Day on July 10, 2026

Get merch

cornholio

Ruler of Lake Titicaca. Rumored to have a bunghole that gets very angry if it does not receive toilet paper. Cornholio the Great is often seen walking around with his shirt over his head and his hands in the air, chanting songs about his power, and his bunghole.

"I am Cornholio! You do not want to face the wrath of my bunghole, for I need TP!"
Butthead: Shut up, Beavis! (uh huh huh huh)
Beavis: Um, okay. (heh heh heh heh).

cornholio by AYB July 20, 2003

Word of the Day on July 9, 2026

Get merch

mickey mousing

In a movie, when the music is syncronized perfectly with the action, just like a mickey mouse cartoon.

Mickey mousing is used in the shower scene of Psycho

mickey mousing by Freezing the Mainstream July 18, 2006

Word of the Day on July 8, 2026

Get merch

Haram ball

A terrible style of football which is used to win games. Usually used when a team faces a better opponent and will get 11 players behind the ball.

Diego Simeone has mastered the art of haram ball. Atletico Madrid are the worst side to watch

Haram ball by Kuffarboy April 6, 2022

Word of the Day on July 7, 2026

Get merch

joybait

excessive nice speech, the opposite of ragebaiting

adrian: i hope you have a nice day and never get sad!
enrique: joybait ❤️ 🩹🌹

joybait by whatdoespseudonymevenmean October 17, 2025

Word of the Day on July 6, 2026

Get merch

fudanshi

Boys who enjoy yaoi (a genre in Japan that contains sexual and/or romantic relations between two men); literally translates to "rotten boy"; corresponding female : fujoshi

Alex blatantly displayed his fudanshi side to his friends.

fudanshi by Yuri Katsuki January 13, 2017

Word of the Day on July 5, 2026

Get merch