1 (Literal definition). A fictional monster of myth and legend that sucks blood and burns in sunlight and holy water. They are undead and their status as a vampire is highly contagious, due to the fact that a vampire's bite on the neck will turn the victim into a vampire, thus causing a vampire breakout. A vampire will sleep in a coffin by day and come out at night to feed on human and/or animal blood. They tend to have a high relation to bats, as they have capes that slightly resemble bat wings and they can transform into a bat. Vampires typically wear formal white suits or other uniforms; pairing them with black shoes, red bow ties, and a large, black cape. A vampire bites its victim in the area in between the neck and the shoulder, and it has large, menacing fangs; extremely pale skin, and, occasionally, claws.

2 (Personal definition). A creature that began to turn un-cool after the release of the piece of crap that they call a book "Twilight." Edward Cullen and Stephanie Meyer completely turned vampires into pretty-boy, non-human-blood-sucking, sparkly, twiggy wimps. A vampire is supposed to BURN in sunlight, not sparkle in it; a vampire must kill everything, not go 'Oh, I'm so wimpy that I'm not gonna hurt humans.'; a vampire must be evil, not nice. The modern definition of Vampire is now "A little lover creature that sparkles in sunlight and will not hurt humans." I swear, I hate Twilight for messing up the true meaning of the word "vampire."
1. Oh my God, Drake, a vampire just bit me! I think I'm going to turn into one! OUCH!

2. Oh, look at me, I'm a pretty fairy.
by TheReshiram December 19, 2010
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What a lot of preteens/teenagers think they are, despite vampires' nonexistence.
Amy thinks she's a vampire; she says she's a vampire with straight teeth. What a dumbass.
by Keijiro December 7, 2006
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Someone who eats a lot of pussy or sucks a lot of dick.
Joe- Man Jerry eats pussy like every night.
Johnny- Ya dude he is such a vampire.
by Jackass1739 November 13, 2016
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It all started witch Vlad Tepes(Vlad Dracul) who made up strict laws,punished with impaling,if ever broken.The merchants and outsiders that used to trade within Transylvania,the transylvanian saxons especially,made up stories while not being at home,about how cruel the current leader is,naming him Dracula,meaning more or less Dragon.His father earned the title Dracul for bravery,and recieved an amulet depicting a snake biting his tail in a circle.Transylvania(currently in Romania;))was a pretty exotic place for western europeans,so Bram Stoker used these rumors to create a story witch remains even now famous to the extreme.Sadly people these days are trying to create an alternative image regarding vampires...witch results in an epic FAIL!
twilight fan-listen dude you just goota check this vampire shit out!
original dracula fan-sorry dude.while your gay twilight actors are being manipulated to brainwash teenagers from alover the world,bela lugosi is actually as we speak drinking the blood of hundreds of people to sustain his everlasting lifeforce,and ruling the world behind the shadow....ok i'm just joking.
twilight fan-omg you're like so right...i'm gonna go burn all my twilight collectibles now,bye.
by DeadHashbrother August 27, 2010
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There are two types of Vampires, known to mankind.

1. Anorexic men that glitter in the sunlight. They are perfect in every way imaginable. These vampires aren't real, and can only be seen in badfics. See also: Gary Stu, and/or Mary Sue.

2. Creatures of the night, that feed on human blood. If sunlight touches their skin, they will explode into a poof of dust! They usually have 'Widow's Peak' hairlines, with black hair, and very pale skin. Their wardrobe consists of very expensive looking clothes, and a devilishly good cape. These vampires can usually be heard in the castles of Transylvania, playing their large, and dusty pipe organs.
1. Edward Cullen is one of them new fangled Vampire things...

2. The most famous vampire ever, was Dracula! It is still debatable whether or not he existed!
by The_Exuberant_Face August 16, 2010
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A male who preys on women during their menstrual cycle.

Pale one that sucks red blood, clotted fluid from womens
Menstruating vaginal region

To suck blood from, to extract by, the inhaling of or to consume menstrual secreation
I heard Jimmy turned into a vampire this weekend
by MrBlur January 13, 2011
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Possibly the coolest thing ever. Not those faggy twilight vampires, I'm talking about fucking badass ones that suck blood, not cocks. Which is weird, because vampires are so fucking awesome, that its okay for men to go gay for them. Evidently, the people who kill vampires are just as cool. Just look at the Belmonts from Castlevania.

When pirates and ninjas face off, vampires win.
by 73H L337 H4X0R!!1 October 3, 2010
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