"I played Turrican II yesterday"
"Turrican is a fucking queer"

Bro since I got dirtpilled on Tuesday I have made sooo many worm friends and made them soo many little houses to get married in. Me? Lonely? No you’re the lonely one u lawn owning freak

FOUR DAYS IN THE FUTURE I WAS ASKED TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL BECAUSE ONE OF MY MAPS WAS DYING! I WENT AND FOUND OMG WAS ACTUALLY REALLY SHIT AND PEOPLE KEPT FUCKING STEALING IT, SO I DID THE ONLY HUMANE THING AND LIED ABOUT EVERY SINGLE THING THAT EVER SHOT FROM MY MOUTH

Sven viking had no comment today when asked ARE YOU GAY FOR TURRICAN? After questioning he answered only with 'how did you get this number??' which doesnt really explain anything

meanwhile turrican cut off his legs and froze them in the arctic tundra

i always keep a grand piano handy, and i was shocked the time that i was approached by a fifty foot palm tree asking me to kill his parents in exchange for some crack

sends you rapeme.exe

Scientest: All we got is turrican, that stupid dog!

Turrican e-mailed me some like a tree porn

Turrican is such an idiot...