John, John is a sexy man whore, who enjoys late evenings in tubs of cum surrounded by lavender scented candles. A fine example of his sexiness is in his round beautifully curved gorilla buttcheeks. He is known to be very Gay or a big bitch in general. Though his cocky and stubborn personality cancels that together.
1; Oh look, it's john! 2; really? that sexy sum bitch is here? 1; Yeah man, just look at the size of his balls and the ever so fragrant smell of beef, burgers, subway, and tacos emitting from his pours. 2; Snnnnnnnifffffff* Ahhhhh, yeah definitely got some huge balls.
by God has a huge cock February 3, 2022
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A common name for boys from different backgrounds, derived from the Hebrew word Yohannan, meaning "God is Gracious."
John is so basic.
by Jamalious101 May 30, 2023
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An impeccable specimen of a male. With brains and braun, he would make a damn hell of a doctor and representative for Bergen County Academy's AMST.
by NotJohnR January 21, 2022
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John is a man with a small penis, but the size of his big head makes up for it
Wow have you seen the size of John’s big head and I’m not talking about the one in his pants!!
by Mrs_B_12 November 23, 2021
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John is probably disassociating right now. Slipping in and out of dismal self doubt and a mind void of thought or reason. A small drop of drool escaping the corner of his mouth catches his attention and, for a brief moment, he is aware of himself. Numbly, he checks his email to see if his favorite store has a discount code for something he might find vaguely interesting. Buying and consuming is one of the few ponds of dopamine not yet fully dried up in the barren desert that is his sinking consciousness.

A chime sounds off. He is receiving a call.

He is excited more now than he has been all day!
Rushing to flush the toilet and wash, he checks the number. It is unknown.

“Hello? John speaking!” He barks, almost dropping his cracked iPhone 7.

“Hi John, can you hear me?”

A sweet voice coos from the line.

“Yes, of course! What can I do for you?”
He says curiously.

“Hi John! My name is Anna. We have been trying to reach you about your cars extended warranty.”
...
John? It’s a fucking name, just use it like any other.
by SomeoneAnyoneJustNotJohn November 23, 2021
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A man with the biggest ass you can't understand. It's perfect in every way. I want it in my mitts.
"Hey do you know John?"
"No, who is that?"
"He is the guy with the massive ass"
"Ohhhh I'm familiar"
by simp_simpy February 13, 2023
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John is a unique human being, they are mostly born in Autumn falls or Winter, he makes mistakes and realises his mistakes as soon as possible, John is Very handsome pure hearted dude who wants nothing in life but true Love, he's been wishing to find the girl of his Dreams. Be assured John's are never unlucky
Stranger: Hey you know someone named John around here??
John: My name is John
Stranger: OMG you are what I'm looking for handsome!!
by Greek Myths November 28, 2021
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