A text message hand job is when you are getting the "run around" from friends or family thru text messages. When you call no one answers or the reception is said to be very bad or they are in a dead zone.
Tom: hey billy,I tried texting todd and sue to see what they are doing tonite, but they text back they aren't sure, todds gonna check with sue, and then sue told me she's gotta check with todd. typical saturday night text message hand job !
billy: fuck them man! lets get some bank and hit the strip club, nothing but real handjobs going on there !
Tom: Hells Yeah ! !
billy: fuck them man! lets get some bank and hit the strip club, nothing but real handjobs going on there !
Tom: Hells Yeah ! !
by Jack de wack February 3, 2009
The act of having your passenger answer your text in the car for you because it's illegal to do yourself.
by momzadork May 14, 2010
When in the middle of a texting conversation one person’s correspondence gets slow due to masterbating with the dominant, or right, hand and thus only being left to text responses with the non-dominate, or left, hand.
Tony: “Why so slow the the responses?”
Cookie: “Sorry, my right hand is busy, only able to do left hand texting!”
Tony: “Please, continue.”
Cookie: “Sorry, my right hand is busy, only able to do left hand texting!”
Tony: “Please, continue.”
by NaughtyTwin October 22, 2017
When on the phone but giving self pleasure so you use left hand to text as to not stop pleasuring oneself.
Cindy: I heard you moaning on the phone low key ... What were you doing?
Mike: My bad I was left hand texting while chopping it up looking at big asses on Tumblr.
Cindy: Nice you should get you a big booty and find out WTMD (what that mouth do).
Mike: Why don't you show me.
Mike: My bad I was left hand texting while chopping it up looking at big asses on Tumblr.
Cindy: Nice you should get you a big booty and find out WTMD (what that mouth do).
Mike: Why don't you show me.
by Dr. Wise Crack October 20, 2017
by Kennedy529 May 9, 2015