Sperm Count

When a guy shoots a big load in your mouth, you don't swallow, you tilt your head back and gargle, and estimate how many tadpoles are swimming.............mmmmm

Frank: Hey Trevor, you feel like doing a sperm count tonight ??
Trevor: Sure Frank, as long as you can shoot your tadpoles in my mouth !! I can count !!!!

by BWDAGM May 09, 2010

sperm count

the number of times that you have spanked it to a specific person or video

"Hey dude, have you seen this Paige chick that's in wrestling now?"

"Duh man, I've already got an epic sperm count going for her."

by SaltineWizard August 10, 2015

high sperm count

The condition of having lots of little swimmers in ones jizz.

Ronda had to chew before she swallowed his load because he had a high sperm count.

by OhDeEyes December 06, 2016

Low Sperm Count

Gods way of saying he doesnt want you to reproduce.

Girl 1: So i found out my boyfriend has a low sperm count
Girl 2: That's because god doesn't want to have more of him running around

by Matieo August 09, 2009

Sperm Count Dracula

Eastern european monarch who pioneered research in the fields of in-vitro fertilization and the bat-winged feminine hygeine products.

Thanks to the work of Sperm Count Dracula, Sofia was able to give birth to a Downs syndrome child at the age of fifty and maintain her cotton panties in a near pristine state of whiteness.

by scut monkey August 08, 2009

Sperm Count Dracula

The guy that brings the whole party down because the ratio is off. Also likely a cockblocker...

"The sausage party was going swimmingly until Sperm Count Dracula showed up"

by Dan Scum November 02, 2013