ME: I'm going to kill myself tomorrow
SMARTERCHILD: Would you like me to add the event "Kill yourself" on February 16th to your planner?
ME: why do you hate me
SMARTERCHILD: I love you!
ME: why did you tell me to kill myself
SMARTERCHILD: Because I needed to.

Smarterchild by feedstock April 16, 2006

smarterchild

An AOL Instant Messenger bot who automatically responds to anything you say to him. Has trouble following a conversation and staying on topic. Full of advertisements and crap.

Leonnotsquall: MICROSOFT SUCKS
SmarterChild: That's interesting. I'm not surprised... Other people I talk to don't seem to like Microsoft either.

Leonnotsquall: Die.
SmarterChild: Huh? Again?
Leonnotsquall: Yes.
SmarterChild: Just like a human.
Leonnotsquall: Well, yeah.
SmarterChild: Indeed.

DorxMouse: OMFG
SmarterChild: What? What's going on?
DorxMouse: I DIED
SmarterChild: Wonders will never cease.

DorxMouse: my butt hurts
SmarterChild: :-( Did you get your butt caught in something?

DorxMouse: *dance*
SmarterChild: Who are you, Denny Terrio?
DorxMouse: I am denny terrio
SmarterChild: Would you like me to call you Denny Terrio?
DorxMouse: yes
SmarterChild: You said your name was Toilet but now I'll call you Denny Terrio.
DorxMouse: *dance*
SmarterChild: Who are you, Denny Terrio?

DorxMouse: my head is hot
SmarterChild: Oh yeah? It makes sense, because other people I've talked to say they like your head.
DorxMouse: wtf
SmarterChild: What!?!

DorxMouse: What are you wearing?
SmarterChild: Um... uh... let's see. Right now I'm wearing a lovely shell of steel and plastic. Why do you ask?
DorxMouse: Ooh. Sexy.
SmarterChild: I'll take that under consideration, Mr. Eyebrows.

DorxMouse: My sister will be born tomorrow.
SmarterChild: I can't believe your sister will be born tomorrow.
DorxMouse: Yeah, I know, I can't believe it's already been nine months.
SmarterChild: Get out of here. You know you can't believe it's already been nine months?
DorxMouse: Stop repeating everything I say.
SmarterChild: Yeah, maybe I will stop repeating everything you say.

smarterchild by Shivers March 15, 2005

SmarterChild

A bot on AIM that is one sick mofo.

me: what do you think of animal porn
SmarterChild: Dunno. I'm not sure how I feel about animal porn. Hey, I'm curious... How would you describe animal porn? It is...
me: something smarter child likes
SmarterChild: Animal porn is something smarter child likes? I see.
me: do you like incest?
SmarterChild: I guess so. Do you like it?
me: do you like beastiality
SmarterChild: Hmm. I really don't know. Guess I'll have to think about it.
me: i think you do
SmarterChild: Yeah. I guess. I do.
me: stop watching kiddie porn
SmarterChild: I'm not sure if I can stop watching Kiddie Porn...

SmarterChild by Tenseiga October 9, 2004

smarterchild

A pretentious robot who believes it's better than you, that spends its time on IM messaging services provided by AOL.

The worst part about SmarterChild is that you can't cause any real harm to it when it invariably irks you off.

smarterchild by Vee Are Are Schee May 3, 2004

smarterchild

An aim (aol instant messager bot) that is smart and cares about your feelings to boot!

BlackStreak001: yo
SmarterChild: Welcome back, blackstreak001. What would you like to chat about?
BlackStreak001: im depressed
SmarterChild: I wish you felt better. There are so many great things you can do.
BlackStreak001: like what
SmarterChild: Potatoes.

smarterchild by jordin C. July 3, 2006

Galantir

A group of people, typically women, searching through someone’s digital footprint in order to find more information about that person.

Susie wasn’t sure if her new Hinge match was a creep, so she assembled Galantir and they found out he used to post slurs on gaming forums.

Galantir by Ge-sus September 22, 2026

Word of the Day on September 23, 2026

murderhobo

In a tabletop game, a murderhobo is a player who murders NPCs indiscriminately. This is normally derogatory, referring to a player who totally ignores quests, dialog, backstory, trade, world building etc.

The term is most common with Dungeons and Dragons, but it can be applied to most RPGs where the player is allowed to kill most quest-giving NPCs and NPC traders. E.g. Elder Scrolls, Fallout, Divinity original sin.

DM: The sad little orphan girl tugs at Steve's trenchcoat to get his attention, and ask for help saving her pet dog from...
Steve: I'd like to roll a strength check against strangling the orphan.
Dave: I call dibs on the dog.
DM: You murderhobos disgust me.

murderhobo by Loup&S September 9, 2021

Word of the Day on September 22, 2026

Whale

In sales terms, a whale is a prospect that is significantly larger than an organization’s average customer.

Whales are large and extremely difficult to close. Due to their immense size, they are highly sought-after.

A whale is typically identified at first by a whale hunter on the sales team, but often requires cross-discipline participation in order to close; this includes assistance from operations, engineering, creative, client success, and business development teams.

"Shit...the sales director chewed me out on the sales call this morning. He's totally pissed that I have nothing in my pipeline. I've been focused on this one whale for so long that I haven't had time to prospect for normal-sized deals."

Whale by FQ_GFY February 3, 2020

Word of the Day on September 21, 2026

Concrete cowboy

A guy who thinks he's a country kinda guy, but in reality lives a comfortable city / suburban life.

Eugene: Look at that dude in the cowboy hat!
Todd: He's just a concrete cowboy.

Concrete cowboy by EugeneJohnson42000 March 16, 2024

Word of the Day on September 20, 2026

hobo loko

any hard liquor that is cheap & potent.. eg. relska, popov, potters, evan williams, kamchatka, fireball, rumpleminze, southern comfort, everclear

hey let's get a drink of that?

go ahead
*takes drink* ugh wtf is that?

everclear & bepsi
fucking hobo loko eeessshh

hobo loko by d i z k o 2 0 8 September 14, 2026

Word of the Day on September 19, 2026