Semi-Pro Football 

A football league for people who won't let the dream of becoming a football star die. The word "pro" is misleading, since these people don't actually get paid to play football, and a lot of teams don't even have any real requirements for who they'll let play.

Also, it lets a bunch of 40 year-olds relive their high school glory years by trying pitifully to play a game that has long since passed them by.

Bill: Hey Rick, I heard Tony is playing Semi-Pro Football.

Rick: Yeah, that's pretty sad. He just won't let go of the fact that he sucked when he played in high school.

Bill: Oh I know. This is almost as sad as being a volunteer high school football coach.

Semi-Pro Football by Potato Sack January 10, 2009

semi-pro football player

Not quite a professional football player. Semi pro football teams are made up of these fatties that used to play in high school, but have since let themselves go. On the field, they enjoy slamming their waists into one another with the secondary goal of moving a football shaped ball around. Off the field, they enjoy wearing extremely tight wife beaters that have the American Gladiators logo on them while wearing tiny shorts. They have to eat every thirty minutes, or they might lose weight, so they buy processed canned meats that smell terrible and snack away even at work.
When something funny is heard, the semi pro football player incorrectly repeats what he heard while laughing.
Semi pro football players enjoy company while using the bathroom, so if they spot someone of the same sex taking off his watch to go take a dump, the SPFP is almost sure to follow so that he can enjoy the flatulence of the co-dumper.
SPFPs also enjoy flinging crap around the bathroom stall, drawing a picture of it, and then telling everyone that "someone missed the seat in the bathroom." It is really the S.P.F.P. that did it, though, because it is hard to tell where the anus is when the buttocks has such a large surface area.

Ian: Is someone dragging a beached whale up the stairs?

X: AhhEEEE!! Thata sum loud thunderus nose in da stairwell

Josh: *opens stairwell door* Oh hey, guys! Sorry, I'm late. I had to "work out" because I'm a semi-pro football player.

semi-pro football player by Ianfection January 20, 2009