Semi-Pro Football

A football league for people who won't let the dream of becoming a football star die. The word "pro" is misleading, since these people don't actually get paid to play football, and a lot of teams don't even have any real requirements for who they'll let play.

Also, it lets a bunch of 40 year-olds relive their high school glory years by trying pitifully to play a game that has long since passed them by.

Bill: Hey Rick, I heard Tony is playing Semi-Pro Football.

Rick: Yeah, that's pretty sad. He just won't let go of the fact that he sucked when he played in high school.

Bill: Oh I know. This is almost as sad as being a volunteer high school football coach.

Semi-Pro Football by Potato Sack January 10, 2009

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semi-pro football player

Not quite a professional football player. Semi pro football teams are made up of these fatties that used to play in high school, but have since let themselves go. On the field, they enjoy slamming their waists into one another with the secondary goal of moving a football shaped ball around. Off the field, they enjoy wearing extremely tight wife beaters that have the American Gladiators logo on them while wearing tiny shorts. They have to eat every thirty minutes, or they might lose weight, so they buy processed canned meats that smell terrible and snack away even at work.
When something funny is heard, the semi pro football player incorrectly repeats what he heard while laughing.
Semi pro football players enjoy company while using the bathroom, so if they spot someone of the same sex taking off his watch to go take a dump, the SPFP is almost sure to follow so that he can enjoy the flatulence of the co-dumper.
SPFPs also enjoy flinging crap around the bathroom stall, drawing a picture of it, and then telling everyone that "someone missed the seat in the bathroom." It is really the S.P.F.P. that did it, though, because it is hard to tell where the anus is when the buttocks has such a large surface area.

Ian: Is someone dragging a beached whale up the stairs?

X: AhhEEEE!! Thata sum loud thunderus nose in da stairwell

Josh: *opens stairwell door* Oh hey, guys! Sorry, I'm late. I had to "work out" because I'm a semi-pro football player.

semi-pro football player by Ianfection January 20, 2009

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bang a you-ee

of Massachusetts orig. "to make a u-turn"

hey, we missed the bar, bang a you-ee

bang a you-ee by Pistolero Pierro May 4, 2008

Word of the Day on July 19, 2026

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Fleg

The word 'flag' as pronounced by people with thick Belfast accents. The term is a perfect encapsulation of the disproportionate and overblown reaction to the removal of the Union Jack (as in 'de fleg') from above City Hall in Belfast. Where previously it had flown for 365 days per year, it is now flown on 17 designated days of the year - in line with many other British cities.

The event caused a portion of the Protestant community ('fleggers') to make international pricks of themselves as they proceeded to wreck the fucking place, claiming it was another erosion of a 'British' identity they perceive to have been under attack since the horrifying spectre of equality reared its head in Northern Ireland.

The word 'fleg' - and indeed 'fleggers' - fittingly describes a section of humanity unconcerned with knowledge, reality or the vagaries of the English language. Like America's tea-baggers they are ruled by instinct, fear and paranoia with a side dish of rampant bigotry and startling ignorance of the world around them.

"Wat de fuck like! The taigs got de fleg took down! Let's wreck de fuckin place! No surrender!"

"De fleg has been took down! Before ye know it there'll be a united Ireland! Attack Short Strand! God Save The Queen!"

Fleg by OnionFleg August 9, 2013

Word of the Day on July 18, 2026

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Skeef

To take something small, that doesn't quite qualify as a theft. Probably from the Danish "skæv" or the Dutch "scheef", both of which are pronounced similarly, meaning "askew, or not quite right'. To change an item's ownership without permission, but only something small and of little worth.

"I skeefed an apple off the neighbor's tree." "I skeefed some chips outta your bag when you looked away." "Don't skeef my chair when I go to the bathroom."

Skeef by kachinaflonk July 16, 2026

Word of the Day on July 17, 2026

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Hair spider

A tight, tangled knot of loose hair and lint that forms inside clothing during the clothes dryer cycle. It typically hides inside garments, causing an annoying lump or a phantom tickling sensation against the skin until it is found or falls out onto the floor during folding.

I was folding my clothes and a huge hair spider fell out onto my hand

Hair spider by Kmorsels July 15, 2026

Word of the Day on July 16, 2026

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bullshot

n. A screenshot fabricated by a company to misrepresent the graphics of a game; a combination of the words bullshit and screenshot.

Originated from Penny Arcade, a popular gaming webcomic.

-Have you seen Madden 2006 for the Xbox 360? The graphics are gonna be awesome!
-Dude, the Madden 2006 images they showed at E3 were bullshots. It doesn't look nearly as good as they said.

bullshot by Worker Unit #503,298,545 September 26, 2005

Word of the Day on July 15, 2026

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