Schrödinger's Boner 

A situation where a penis is starting to get hard, but is not solid, and at the same time, not completely flaccid. While a penis is in this state, anything could collapse the quantum wave, and render the penis either hard, or flaccid.

Dude, Jackie gave me this sexy look after our date, and until she came upstairs to my room, I had a Schrödinger's Boner.

or

I was this restaurant, and there was this waitress with a nice ass. Once she turned around and I saw here face though, I lost my Schrödinger's Boner.

Schrödinger's Boner by MintBerryChrunch April 13, 2011

Schrodinger's Boner

the scenario where a man cannot get a boner because of high levels of stress and not being able to satisfying one's partner therefore making them embarrassed and most importantly stressed, because the man is stressed about not being to satisfy one's partner, the man cannot get a boner which creates a paradox called "Schrodinger's Boner"
the concept of the paradox was first mentioned in Ted (2024) Season 2 Episode 2.

Doctor: Are you under any elevated stress?
Matty: Yeah! Not being able to get a boner is pretty damn stressful!
Doctor: Yes it is, and then that stress will prevent you from getting another one, It's a paradox we call "Schrodinger's Boner"

Schrodinger's Boner by secondoffall March 8, 2026