Skip to main content

retirement home 

The deathbed of old people. They check in, they never check out. Before they finally draw their last breath, they are required to live a life of incredible dullness, due to health complications of old folks.
"I'm 60 years old, nothing to do here but to play checkers and eat old corn cobblers, because ham hurts my teeth and bread clogs my arteries."

Heartbeat monitor goes dead...

"Oh dang..."
retirement home by Chang Tan December 29, 2004
Urban Dictionary Merch
Your favorite words on things you can wear, drink from, read, or give to a friend.
The Urban Dictionary Store sells gifts you’ll have to explain.

Retirement Home 

A place where old people go to die.

The food is generally of very poor quality, and most of their time there is spent sitting around in chair, asking themselves:

"Why do they never come to visit me"

While at the same time staring into the eternal abyss, realising that they are at the end of their life.
"We sent Grandma off to a retirement home after Grandpa died."
Retirement Home by GDPYT November 28, 2018

Anti-retirement home 

Aka - the kid's grandparent's house, free babysitting, (even though you should really be paying them). They want to enjoy their retirement that they worked so hard for and planned for a long time, but now, they can't.
I know we have had a whole year to make other arrangements, but we can just bring the kids to the anti-retirement home everyday. I know they are retired, but It's free and I don't trust anyone else.

Catalonian Retirement Home

This is when a group of guys kidnap several elderly Grandmothers, most commonly their own grandmothers.

They then fill up a large inflatable raft with liquid watery feces, shove the faces of the old women into this while tag fucking them up the arse.

Finally, when they have jism flowing from their anus' the women are thrown into the raft which is set afloat on the nearest large body of water, preferably an ocean
Guy 1: My Nan gave me such a shit Christmas present

Guy 2: Yeah me too

Guy 3: My grandma didnt even give me a present

Guy 1: Fuck those tight bitches, they have it all, we should show them what its like in an Catalonian Retirement Home

Guy 4: But I like my grandmother

Guy 2: Fuck you dickweed, your doing it on you can join them in it
More from Urban Dictionary

trucker's tan 

A sunburn or suntan focused on the left arm. It is caused by the left side of the body being the only half that gets exposed to sunlight while driving. Presumably, it would be located on the right side of the body in countries where they drive on the left side of the road.
I had a trucker's tan after driving for 10 straight hours on a sunny day.
Word of the Day on October 5, 2026
The phenomenon where adults salivate at children's toys
Every time I walk into the toy aisle, I catch myself kidulting over the latest action figures and LEGO sets!
kidulting by Emotional Cruiser October 12, 2025
Word of the Day on October 4, 2026
British slang for a scientist or technical expert, esp . when the speaker is not certain of the expert’s specific field of study. Not necessarily derogatory, but typically used by persons without a technical background. In the US, the equivalent would be “egghead”, “squint”, or “geek.”

Origin of the word is unknown. Started sometime in World War 2. Given the typical evolution of British slang, could easily have started because what these experts did was confusing or “baffling” to the common person.
According to the boffins downstairs, the murderer used a serrated blade.
Boffin by Agnon February 11, 2023
Word of the Day on October 3, 2026

Pee Calculus

When you have to pee in a movie but don’t want to miss anything, and must do the following mental equation: will the amount I have to pee cause enough discomfort to diminish my attention capacity for the remainder of the movie to an extent which is greater than the amount of the movie I would miss by making a mad dash to the restroom.
I saw Satantango last night, wonderful film but by the 5th hour I had to start doing pee calculus.
Pee Calculus by anorlondo October 1, 2026
Word of the Day on October 2, 2026
Literally "dirty" pronounced with a West Indian accent. Can also have a positive connotation, for example Sean Paul's album title "Dutty Rock".
"The girl is pretty but she corrupt and dutty!"

or, in a positive usage:

"Booya! That freestyle was dutty!"
Dutty by J Hall April 3, 2003
Word of the Day on October 1, 2026
Load more