Portland Timbers 

The single worst football (soccer) team in the entire universe. Stole their one and only MLS cup, always lose, and have shitty fans that are a bunch of tattooed queers who drink too much toilet-made beer and everyone thinks are obnoxious as shit. They once lost to an amateur team. Their stadium is a baseball stadium. Their coach Savarese has an insanely punchable face, and every time I see someone wearing a Portland Timbers shirt, I’m vehemently offended. Fuck them and their damn owner. To be fair, the city is all right, but their football (soccer) team can go to hell.

Bruh did you go to the Portland Timbers game last night?
Nah man. what happened?
They got smacked by the Seattle Sounders 10-0.
Bruh I’m not surprised. Seattle is clearly better.

Portland Timbers by Tyrashion2456389 November 20, 2019

Portland Timbers 

The Portland Timbers are a soccer team from the quaint inland village of Portland which resides near the mouth of the Colombia River in the Oregon Territory.

Know for their lack of finishing skills, The Timbers are the known as the perpetual bit*h of both the Seattle Sounders and Vancouver Whitecaps. 2011 will mark the Timbers integration with the fashionable MLS soccer league of the glorious USA.

2006 was a very disappointing season for many reasons for the Portland Timbers, and their fans. The team finishing tied for last in the table with a franchise worst 7-15-6 (27 points) record, the Offensive production was last in the league as the club only netted 25 goals, and the Timbers lost their derby with heated rival Seattle Sounders.

Portland Timbers by icefunk December 10, 2009