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Pe teachers

creatures that lurk the gyms and fields of a school. Despite their job title promoting physical education, they ironically haven’t done anything physical since they were in high school. You can feel the floor vibrate and see the San Franciscans getting ptsd as the ground shakes like 8.0 magnitude earthquake as these colossal beings rock the earth with every 500 pound step they take. They tell students to “do more push ups” while all they do is viscously push more food into their mouths. So only time you’ll see these creatures move any faster then a walking pace, is when there’s a flash sale at McDonald’s.
Person 1: HOLY SHIT WHAT WAS THAT

Person 2: oh dw it’s not an earthquake the pe teachers just came back from McDonald’s.
by Who?asked? August 9, 2024
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PE Teacher

A popular job for those predatory paedophiles who lack the necessary contacts for a career in politics.

As the saying goes:

"Those who can, do.
Those who can't, teach.
Those who like watching small boys in the shower, teach PE."
"In retrospect the fact that Jimmy Saville dressed like a PE teacher was probably a dead giveaway."
by Beezus Fuffoon April 17, 2022
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PE Teacher

Mom: What do you want to be when you grow up
Son: A PE teacher!
Mom: Why’s that?
Son: So I can torture kids too someday!
by Node13 September 28, 2019
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Pe teacher

Was in the military
"ur gay give me 5 push ups pansie"-Pe Teacher
by Baddie666 December 11, 2019
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PE Teacher

A "PE teacher" is an individual that decides to spend all of their time teaching children how to take care of themselves and play games for hours and hours every day but, for some reason, hates children and exercise. There is not a PE teacher on the planet that's been seen actually exercising, but it's their job for some reason, and they absolutely hate it.

They only seem to refer to things around them by last names or shortened nicknames such as "MACKLEROY!" or "LET'S PLAY SOME B-BALL!" (etc).

They never lose their voices. They have trained their vocal chords to be strong so they can yell as loudly and for as long as they want. Children are their main prey.

It is obvious that they aren't the brightest people, but you can smell the failure on them. It stinks of sweat, tears, and a useless Masters Degree that's covered in dust in a box under all of the hockey gear in the locker room.

No one grows up saying "I want to be a PE teacher" because even PE teachers don't want to be PE teachers.

They are sad, misunderstood creatures that will forever wallow in their own sadness.
Carl: "Coach! I have serious asthma and shouldn't run anymore! You already made me run 15 laps around the track! I don't have my inhaler and I've already run too much-"

Coach: "DOES! IT! LOOK! LIKE! I! CARE?!"

Carl: "The doctor said that I could die-"

Coach: "YOU GET TWENTY MORE LAPS IF YOU KEEP GIVING ME LIP, BOY!"

Carl: "Please! I'm... Dying... *wheeze*

Coach: "YOU ARE WEAK! GET ON IT! MR MACKLEROY! GO! RUN! WHY ARE YOU SLEEPING IN MY CLASS?! PRETENDING TO PLAY DEAD WON'T GET YOU OUT OF ANYTHING! I WILL PUNT YOUR DEAD BODY ACROSS THE FIELD!"

Steve: "Did you hear about how Carl almost died in gym? He had to be taken to the ER. He was blue in the face and he had a footprint on his side. They think he might become a vegetable."

Bob: "Wow. Our PE teacher is such a big fucking bitch."
by thefuglyfuckling April 19, 2014
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PE teacher

PE teacher If a female- a generally fat old lady who looks like she has never ever done any exercise. If a male- a gaunt looking man who is a failed sportsman due to either laziness, underachievment or injury
by Holzy20031 April 6, 2006
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Substitute PE teacher

the single most easiest paying job ever
The substitute PE teacher just told everyone to run around or some shit for the whole period.
by intrnashonalsuperstud June 5, 2009
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