A young spotty unemployed shellsuit wearing tink, who thinks thunderbird is a drink for posh people, his ambition is to go to jail and offend as many normal people as possible, the highlight of his week is giro day or slashing someone at the weekend, scared to look at you on his own, but thinks he is hard as fuck in a group of 20 other neds, picks fag buts from the street and hassles people for spare change.
No I am not going to give you my spare change you fuckin ned,

or, get a job you fucking ned
by Paul January 14, 2004
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A ned is a Scottish term for a male between the ages of 8 and 19 who enjoys wearing cheap, usually fake tracksuits, Kappa or Lacoste trainers, white football socks over their tracksuit bottoms, and of course a fake Burberry cap pointed skywards. They may also be seen wearing Helly Hansen of Berghaus jackets, depending on weather conditions.

Favourite pastimes of a ned include smoking anything they can get their hands on, drinking Buckfast ("Buckie") or cheap cider, such as the "White Lightning" crap you can get out of the Spar for £1.50 a litre, starting fights with random people, although never alone, they always start fights in groups ("Crews", "Fleetos" or "Yung Teems"), and shagging the female of the species, coined a "Nedette".

A Nedette is similar to a ned in both attire and pastimes, but instead of a normal Burberry cap, they wear pink Burberry caps, they have around 12 fake gold hoop earrings on each ear, and are usually accompanied by their screaming, butt-ugly toddler, to whom they gave birth at the age of 12.
Traditional Ned Battlecry:
Ned(to passing stranger):"Oi you ya bam. You bein' wide?"
Ned:"Aye ye are. You deserve a slap"
Ned hits Stranger
Stranger:"What the f*** was that for?
Stranger hits Ned back
Ned(pulling out bread knife):"Me an' ma Crew 'ill f***ing wreck you!"
Stranger runs, pursued by 5 Neds with kitchen knives
by CaptainToast January 02, 2009
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a general wee prick who will pick fights with those who are differant when in large groups. when alone a ned will shit his trackies and run.
last week a wee ned whop started on me happened to get stuck in an elevator on his own the front of my new rocks are now permanantly broken thanks to his thick skull.

clean the streets kill a ned

join the a.a.n army against neds
by <---Azriel---> July 14, 2006
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A type of thug in Scotland, their low level IQ doesn't allow them to understand much, not even activities that they claim to be experts on such as: fighting, drinking, drug-taking and cars (not that they can afford a car). The mass majority of these idiots are unemployed. So here's what clothes they wear: tracksuits. socks that are worn over the sleeves of the track bottoms, "gold" chains, one or two rings, white trainers and Rangers or Cetic football tops. They are normally in a group or should I say a "team" and they may have a ridiculous name for this team and they talk bollocks to other teams about how uneducated they all are, then start slicing and stabbing eachother with kitchen knives. Neds can make an aftershave or a deodorant smell like feces, mainly because they bath in these fragrances (not to imply these brainless tinks actually wash themselves) and put way too much on, their breathe stinks and clearly neds don't brush their teeth. Neds act aggressive, because old ladies that have been victims of attacks from neds had convinced these neds that they are somewhat badass, which of course they aren't, they're all talk ... if you can even call what comes out their smelly mouths, 'talk'. As for alcohol consumption, mostly Buckfast tonic wine or VERY cheap beer and cider. Drugs: hash and maybe sniff glue they nicked from a primary school. Figure: skinny and rodent-like. IQ: 0-30 points. Neds are just a waste of space, air and money.
Ned: Hol you, wit ye dain growling at meh, tryin eh start sommit?

Person with an IQ above 75: Sorry, can I help you?

Ned: Ah wiz chillin ova there and ah caught ye out growling at meh

Person: Um, well I wasn't, now go away and fry a mars bar or something


Person: Get a job
by brothelboy March 06, 2010
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A small boy, paticuarly a deep voice, often appearing with lots of acne.
Has urges 5 times a day
Likes dating ugly girls called Amie.
"Haha you sound like ned"
To pull a ned.
by Nick hubbard March 02, 2008
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Neds, much to the contrary of common belief, are not purely found within the Glasgow area, but litter most parks and wooded areas of Scotland drinking "Buckfast" and other get-pissed-quick drinks. The word "ned" does not stand for "non-educated-delinquent" as nowadays, neds can range from the educated to the idiots. Mainly, they are idiots. Neds do wear tracksuits and trainers and caps tilted very high upwards and gold rings. The Female ned, however, can be identified in two forms, The Manly Nedette and the Nedette. The nedette can also be known as a "Slut" "whore" or "person wearing very few clothes and lots of gold jewlery". The Manly Nedette is a female who wears tracksuits and trainers and caps tilted very high upwards and gold rings. A common trademark of the ned is trackies tucked into socks.
The Under-18s is a get together for under-age neds to mate.
by girl from Stirling August 07, 2006
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noun: The smoldering end of a cigar, cigarette, joint, blunt, or other oblong smoking material.
Also: ned marks, ned tracks, ned burns: burns in furniture and automobile upholstery.
(SW Indiana, US)
"Watch your ned dude! You fucking burned me!"
"No more smoking in my car, you left ned tracks on my seat."
by Vandervecken April 25, 2009
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