A Scottish person who uses slang and vandalises.. Basically a chav but not english.
Girl:Oh my god that Ned just vandalised the park

Random person:Oh dear those neds live in a bad neighbourhood.. nothing new there.
by Boris Wenis November 06, 2008
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the male: usually very thin, wearing a berghaus jacket, trakies tucked into socks, cheap(fake) lacoste trainers, hair that looks like it could land a plane, uaually stoned and drunk(oot der heed man) and would shag anything with a pulse as long as she is a nedette
the female: either very fat or very thin, face that has been plastered with a brand of foundation that has been produced from the tango factory, wearing very little clothes that show off the eight month old bump, wearing three or more fake gold rings on every finger, at least two 3" thick chains sportin someone elses name and usually found on the end of a male neds cock.
similarities: are usually found standing on random street corners drinking cheap alcohol called buckfast or md 20-20, every second word is fuck or some other random word that is intended to offened but no one knows what it means
look at dat big mad scary goff man, am gonnae chibb u ya baw, aye a fucked yer maw last night n she wis luvin it man
by kaz n kisp August 12, 2005
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NED which contrary to popular belief does not come from Non Educated Delinquent but actually stems from the shortening of the common term "ne'er do well" ned means different things to different places. In England it is chav. Even in Scotland varies. Glasgow Neds have knives normally and if you are in an area with Neds roaming about you are pretty much dead. Edinburgh, too refined to have neds supposedly. but they are there. if you look in the right places. Dundee neds are usually annoying and speak in annoying lingo but tend to be around 14 years old with three children. called brogan, dale and chantelle-marie. Funnily enough the alpha male system of the animal kingdom is in reverse in the Ned System as the smallest and most ginger person is usually the leader. whatever he loses in being the smallest person, he gains from being the biggest shit.

MALE ATTIRE - kappa. lots

FEMALE ATTIRE - Anything that hurts the eyes.

you- (minding your own business)

ned- you talkin' about me??? eh? eh? eh? 'mon then? ya poof? eh? eh? eh? you gee'in us cheek? meh brither shot a lassie last week and e'll get yeh. you think em leh-in? then e'll smash yeh.

you - what?

ned - @£$*(*&*()(*&*(*&^*%$£$%^& (ned talk)

(An excerpt I had in an altercation with a ned because i "looked at him like he was a poof", to unnamed ned. if you are a poof, it is a life decision, and i accept that and i am not out to argue with that because i just don't mind. just make sure you tell chantelle-marie or whoever before you leave her for a toyboy so she can deal with the three children. but hey i will be paying for them anyway!)

(i'm not a snob, just can't quite see what i did to provoke him... i'm harmless really)
by i_is_tom September 20, 2007
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Scots : A young waster who lives in the Glasgow area; a hooligan; a gang member, with skip cap, tracksuit and socks tucked into trainers. Poss. from "Non-Educated Deliquent"
"Ah'm no a ned"
by George C September 02, 2003
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Irritating, overly-confident, arrogant, uneducated Street Monkey, indigenous to Scotland and much much harder than the english chavs.

Males are usually found wearing Ned Tartan Caps (Burberry)and brightly coloured Shellsuits. Their habitat usually includes off-licenses that sell Buckfast (or a "Bottle of Whit the fuck ye gawking at, ya bawbag" as it is locally known) Their IQ is usually around five points short of a cannibis plant, which they smoke consistantly in a vain hope of increasing intelligence. They tend to hunt in packs or 10-20 and can be menancing to the rest of the general public - Although if you lamp the gobbiest wee shite amongst them and the pituitary retard (6'4" at 14 years old) then generally they run away making baboon noises and disappear into the undergrowth for a couple of hours. The male communicates with other males in grunts, farts and burps and simple phrases like "Gie's a swally o yer bucky man" and "check the airse on thon wee hairy" which are about the limit of speech their education allows.

The female of the species is defined by the wobble of lard which cocoons her body and this is only held in place by here over-stretched thong and too small bra. Most of the females will be pregnant before the age of sixteen unless the nedette is in Dundee when she will be pregnant by 13 years old. The females are like magpies in that they like things which are shiny and will marry their male ned for the price of a £19.99 ring from Elizabeth Duke's in Argos even if it causes their fingers to turn green.
Alternatively if the male ned is simply "Wantin his hole" then all he has to do is purchase or steal a 3 litre bottle of Frosty Jack's Chemical - never seen an apple - Cider which when placed in the line of sight of a nedette causes her lard to burst her thong and for her legs to spread rapidly even before he offers her a swally..
Examples of neds can be found outside any off-licence in Scotland for the males and outside the nurseries at home time for the females
by Gypsy Laird April 02, 2008
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A Scottish term for the often uneducated and invariably aggressive teenagers found throughout Britain. Identified by gold jewellery (especially sovereign rings), baseball caps, white trainers and/or Kappa/Burberry branded clothing. The name is thought to derive from 'Edward', as in teddy boy. It is in no way an acronym for "non-educated delinquent", which is in any case ungrammatical.
"A bunch of wee neds broke in last week and vandalised the place."
by Potatojunkie February 07, 2005
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Neds are people who speak slang ,wear track suits, often lacoste. female neds: wear a foundaition a few times darker than there natural skintone resulting in an orange appearance.neds tend to wear a vast amount of common cheap gold jewellery. Neds r closely associated with chavs and bams.
neds can often be found loitering in parks under bridges or in other quiet and iscolated places drinking bucky/buckfast or cider and smoking. Neds often form gangs for there area they arrange fights with other gangs for no apparent reason. police hate neds and innocent people are often mistaken for neds , resulting in great hatred for the neds of glasgow and other areas.
ned1: awrite mate want tae go doon tae the shop the nite n gee sum bucky n that coz a heavey need a booze.
ned2: aye sound mate, want tae gee sum maddog n'all, gonnae be a pure buzz the nite.
ned1: aye mate am off tae meet ma burd catch'ye
by ned hater Gr July 07, 2005
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