Newly discovered disease where tumors start to grow in your brain and then spread throughout your body. Symptoms include rashing of the genital areas, sharp rectum pains, extreme head aches that last for days on end, troubled breathing, painful urination, extreme bowel movements, and constaint body odor. No cure is known. Puerto Rican's brought the disease over into the United States while smuggling drugs. Most prominent in the Northeastern area of Illinois due to the growing population of Puerto Ricans and drug use in that area.

" I have these symptoms"

"You have Monitis"

Monitis by Professor Dr. James Dowel M.D. January 20, 2007

Get the Monitis mug.

monititis

Monititis, commonly known as “computer poisoning,” occurs when a patient is subjugated, either through occupational obligation, or—shockingly and more commonly—through his own free will, to endless hours of staring directly at a monitor, including those of computers, televisions, smartphones, and similar devices. Common symptoms of this rapidly spreading virus include headache, nausea, vomiting, brain damage, obesity, and frying of the retina, with more severe symptoms including vision loss, heart failure, depression, employment loss, loss of friendship, loss of a social life in general, and an overall rapid decay in moral character.

More troubling, however, are recent studies concluding decisively that patients spending more than 4 hours/day in front of the computer are likely to experience an inexplicable yet overwhelming need to devote the rest of their day to similar activities, rendered hopelessly impotent in preventing further damage.

Monititis, either mild or severe, has been found in a staggering 86% of adults aged 18-50 tested in the United States, with infection rates disproportionately higher in males aged 18-24. Scientific studies have also, disturbingly, shown that 95% of infected patients are wholly unaware of their ailment. In rare cases, a patient may consciously discover the cause of discomfort; however, most of these patients will quickly, suddenly, and irreversibly forget their ascertainment, again rendering them helpless in taking reparative action.

Sick Guy: Owww…….fuck!

Healthy Guy: What’s wrong, dude?

Sick Guy: Monititis, man. I can’t fucking see straight anymore.

Healthy Guy: What the hell is monititis?

---five-second pause---

Sick Guy (angry and confused): What?!? What are you talking about?

Healthy Guy: Dude, you just said like five seconds ago that you were suffering from moni—

Sick Guy: Please, if you would EXCUSE me, somebody just added me on Facebook!

monititis by monititis_poster November 17, 2010

Get the monititis mug.

monicitis

Monicitis is the disease that causes a slew of negative side effects listed in the formal post listed above.

However, recent medical research at John Hopkins University has brought several new side effects to attention.

Including but not limited to;

-Posting false definitions attempting to undermind the work of Dr. Louis Tres
-Awful hair
-Absence of linguistic formalities. For instance, if there was a building that stood for grammatical integrity, monicitis would be the plane that crashed into it.
-STD's (Yes, monicitis is an STD that apparently causes more STD's)<--- Truly a medical anomaly.

Researchers at John Hopkins have also informed me that they are currently testing experimental medicine which could lead to an antidote(monicdote). More information on this "monicdote" will be posted as it is received.

Timmuel - "Whoa that bitch just stepped up to mah boy lewey trey(Dr. Louis Tres)!"

Dr. Louis Tres - "Timmuel calm down my sweet chinchilla, its just the side effect of that nasty disease Monicitis."

Timmuel - "No wonder! No one with that disgusting disease could ever in any capacity be better than my boy Dr. Louis Tres!"

monicitis by Dr Louis Tres January 21, 2010

Get the monicitis mug.

monitism

A way of enduring everything in funny way yet getting to solve things outside once endiviour.

Monitism is the best.

monitism by Monit August 13, 2021

Get the monitism mug.

kinktober

An excuse for people to write porn with different types of kinks throughout the month of October.

Smut Fanfiction

That chick doesn't write often but when she does, its for Kinktober.

kinktober by Kinkiest July 12, 2018

Word of the Day on October 30, 2026

Get the kinktober mug.

proper lad

a lad that is such a lad that he is a proper lad

person1:did you see bob
person2: ya he was a proper lad

proper lad by its_ya_boi_chips_ahoy May 20, 2018

Word of the Day on October 29, 2026

Get the proper lad mug.

sexspan

The number of years you are still sexually active

While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.

sexspan by Dr Kat April 21, 2022

Word of the Day on October 28, 2026

Get the sexspan mug.

womp

A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.

You didn't get any napkins with your takeout pork fried rice? Womp womp.

womp by 175623226 November 3, 2011

Word of the Day on October 27, 2026