Mortar and Pestle 

When your old lady jabs the wound with a phallic object furiously, with such emotional intensity not achieved by another activity.

What did you do last night?

Oh my plans got cancelled so I just whipped out the old mortar and pestle and went to town.

Mortar and Pestle by weeman! September 23, 2009

Missoula Mortar and Pestle 

A marriage of the pittsburgh steamshovel and a skullfuck. Taking a shit in the empty eyesocket of a one-eyed hooker, then squishing your cock into it. Extra points awarded for the famed "Eye to Mouth" move afterwards.

Stump: I got rolled by a one-eyed hooker last night

Nick: How?

Stump: I just finished giving her the Missoula Mortar and Pestle, then she slapped me with a crowbar and took my wallet

Missoula Mortar and Pestle by MaximillianBadberg October 6, 2011

pestle and mortar 

When you drop chilli and the tip of your penis touches the porcelain of the bowl.

Industrial toilets seem to be ok, unless you're hung like Chuck Norris, but when you go to your grandma's house and she has that tiny little crapper with the fuzzy blue rug and seat cushion; you are guaranteed to pestle and mortar that rig.

pestle and mortar by ty187 June 17, 2010