monte cristo 

Denotes a sex act whereby one coats thier cock in raspberry jam and ass fucks another person.

This freaky ho couldnt get enough so I gave her the monte christo so she would shut the hell up and I could get some sleep.

monte cristo by SrBlanco January 24, 2005

Monte Cristo 

A Monte Cristo is a slang term for having sex during a lunch break. Used interchangeably with nooner. Its usefullness comes from the fact that a Monte Cristo is also a popular sandwich, so a the term can be used to disguise one's actions around unknowing co-workers.

'How was your Monte Cristo, Nigel?'

Monte Cristo by Austin in Brooklyn August 31, 2006

Monte Cristo 

When one jerks off, cums in to the air, then proceedso to catch it in there mouth. Much like one would do with a m&m.

Me: I'm hungry dude.
friend: just have a Monte Cristo bro.

Monte Cristo by Mastodon April 9, 2015

The Count of Monte Cristo 

The name of the main character of Alexandre Dumas’ novel The Count of Monte Cristo. After being wrongfully accused of being a part of a Bonapartist plot, Edmond Dantes is thrown in prison. He then escapes prison and inherits his prison buddy’s wealth. He then assumes the pseudonym of the Count of Monte Cristo and enacts revenge on those who wronged him. Dumas’ novel is considered the pioneer of revenge stories.

My favorite character in The Count of Monte Cristo is the Count of Monte Cristo.

The Count of Monte Cristo by Beanie ❤︎ November 6, 2022

Cunt-of-Monte-Cristo

The deli Cunt that gives you an attitude when you ask her to make you a…
Monte Cristo sandwich, an egg-dipped or batter-dipped ham and cheese sandwich that is pan or deep fried. It is a variation of the French croque monsieur.

I went to the deli today and asked the pretty woman for a Monte Cristo sandwich. She became the Cunt-of-Monte-Cristo when she couldn’t figure out how to make it, she got more upset when I told her to GOOGLE IT!

Cunt-of-Monte-Cristo by Frank Palace July 16, 2022

Count of Monte Christo 

Where you stitch a friend up for a crime he didn't commit so you can move in on his girl.

Named after events in the novel "The Count of Monte Christo.''

''I heard Declan pulled a Count of Monte Christo on Jayden to get in with his girlfriend Tara. Dude's doing 2 consecutive life sentences on a french prison island as we speak.''

"See Ed's dating Haydee now?''

"Yeeeap. We should Count of Monte Christo that fool so bad."

Count of Monte Christo by nerd observer March 25, 2025

Montecristo 

1. One of the greatest cigars in the world. Once hand rolled in Cuba, now from Dominican Republic.

2. Count of "Montecristo" - famous wronged individual who served decades in prison until escape and treasure gave him means to correct injustice.

3. Location on west coast of California habitated by Jimmi C and his favorite Chinavieja.

1. Jimmi Ray lit a Montecristo, put on a CD by Jimmy Buffet, poured himself a Mojito and pulled Dulce Maria on to his lap for a sunset moment.

2. Edmund Dantes escaped prison by hiding in a bag that the guards thought contained a dead man, went to an island where he found a massive treasure and then moved back home and took the name "Count of Montecristo" as he tied up a few loose threads in sweet revenge.

3. Jimmi Ray worked for 20 years as a measure, inspector and advertising guy and then retired to a place he called "Montecristo" where the Russian River became the Pacific Ocean.

Montecristo by jim christ May 12, 2008