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masterblathering 

Excited, pointless and always somehow self-referential verbal-diarrhea. (See ANY Tarantino interview.)
Not an example of usage, examples of actual masterblathering:

"You don't have to tell me how cool I am, listen to ME tell you how cool I am!"

"Did you see me at Madison's party? Everybody was waiting for me to do something cool, I know, but I made them wait until Madison was right next to me. Did you see it? I was SO AWESOME, dude!"

"So I watched this movie once called "City on Fire" at the video store they let me work at and I thought "Shit, nobody's seen this! If I can get Harvey Keitel and that funny-looking guy from Fargo I can totally rip off my first movie!"
masterblathering by ginsoak May 8, 2008
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Masterbatheing 

To jerk off in the bathtub. It only counts if you come in the bath water and continue bathing afterwards.
"Were you masterbatheing this morning when I came over?" "Yeah, and I've been skeeving all day from swimming in my own stew from."
Masterbatheing by Smith Jerrod December 4, 2012
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