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random male citizen of the united states: mikey is so hot
random female citizen of the united states: don't you mean my key?
my key by JOFFERPLAYS May 16, 2018

help my j key is broken

often typed when a j key on a keyboard is broken.
wait how would you type it if its broken?
Help my j key is broken on my keyboard!

Key to my heart 

key to my heart....
Is literally... a key worn ....close to someones heart ....that you gave them... they carry the one and only key.... to open ur heart
Wow u still have the key to my heart around ur neck....its been a year...and we r both still waiting......

Key to my leg 

like the key to your heart, but instead- it's a key to crank up Omar's leg
when im in a proper serious relationship im gonna hand her a key and she's gnna be like "awww is this a key to your appartment" and i'll be like "no this is a key to my leg"
Key to my leg by omarisafuckin'_G December 28, 2018

My dead cat ran over my keyboard 

My dead cat ran over my keyboard is a joke mocking people who always have an excuse
Oh what now John your gonna tell me that" My dead cat ran over my keyboard" John last time you told me you could not pay your rent because my "prices are too high" even though the only thing that is high is you everybody in this god forsaken building knows that you do weed John You're four months behind on your rent just fucking pay it.

my cat stepped on my keyboard 

when you do something cringey, but you don't have a good excuse, so you do the only thing that'll save you.

Person 1: I like you
Person 2: lol u ugly
person 1: my cat stepped on my keyboard, sorry
Person 1: I like you
Person 2: lol u ugly
person 1: my cat stepped on my keyboard, sorry