Lowe's Home Improvement

The epitome of ass-kissery. As soon as you walk into a Lowe's, your ass saturated with the spit of every employee that crosses your path; but it is not their fault, because it is what they have been constantly told to do every day. Lowe's is built upon the model of "excellent, excruciatingly-paranoid, money-pinching, annoying, ass-kissing, customer-focus". The best thing to do when you see a "red vest" is to cut a corner and run. These people are already stressed enough with the dumbass questions that get flung at them every day so one more question is just one more reason for them to eat a bullet.

Customer walks in Lowe's:

"HI! BILLY MAYS HERE WITH Lowe's Home Improvement WAREHOUSE! WE HAVE LOTS OF ITEMS TO HELP YOUR EVERY NEED FOR EVERY SITUATION! HOW MAY WE BE OF SERVICE TO YOU TODAY SIR OR MA'AM???"

Customer: Holy fucking ass crackers! Can I not look at the fucking power tools without being bombarded by damn service? Fuck this I'm going to Home Depot where people leave me the hell alone!

Lowe's Home Improvement by yourmomlovesmyjohnson09 December 12, 2010

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abandonware

n. software that is no longer sold or supported by the original publisher / developer, often found as free downloads on the internet because it cannot be obtained elsewhere. Not legal, but often seen as morally acceptable because the company that made it is no longer selling the title, nor releasing it as freeware, therefore abandonware is "keeping the game alive", so to speak.

Doom II is not abandonware because id still sells it, while The Incredible Machine is not sold, therefore is abandonware.

abandonware by Spoom October 24, 2003

Word of the Day on July 11, 2026

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Foot prisons

Socks. Annoying, sweat-causing, non-barefoot enducing, everyday socks.

The first thing I do when I take off my shoes, is rip off the foot prisons I had to wear inside them. That's why I prefer flip flops, even in winter!

Foot prisons by Jackalope Hunter December 13, 2022

Word of the Day on July 10, 2026

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cornholio

Ruler of Lake Titicaca. Rumored to have a bunghole that gets very angry if it does not receive toilet paper. Cornholio the Great is often seen walking around with his shirt over his head and his hands in the air, chanting songs about his power, and his bunghole.

"I am Cornholio! You do not want to face the wrath of my bunghole, for I need TP!"
Butthead: Shut up, Beavis! (uh huh huh huh)
Beavis: Um, okay. (heh heh heh heh).

cornholio by AYB July 20, 2003

Word of the Day on July 9, 2026

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mickey mousing

In a movie, when the music is syncronized perfectly with the action, just like a mickey mouse cartoon.

Mickey mousing is used in the shower scene of Psycho

mickey mousing by Freezing the Mainstream July 18, 2006

Word of the Day on July 8, 2026

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Haram ball

A terrible style of football which is used to win games. Usually used when a team faces a better opponent and will get 11 players behind the ball.

Diego Simeone has mastered the art of haram ball. Atletico Madrid are the worst side to watch

Haram ball by Kuffarboy April 6, 2022

Word of the Day on July 7, 2026

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joybait

excessive nice speech, the opposite of ragebaiting

adrian: i hope you have a nice day and never get sad!
enrique: joybait ❤️ 🩹🌹

joybait by whatdoespseudonymevenmean October 17, 2025

Word of the Day on July 6, 2026

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