Longhander 

(noun) A person who, when typing online, uses full-length words and sentences as opposed to the abbreviations and acronyms common to online speech.

A World of Warcraft chat between a 1337speak user and a longhander:
Xxleggolaszxx: hai d00d sup
Trollski: Not much, really. Questing here and there. Yourself?
Xxleggolaszxx: lmao u said urself roflmao
Trollski: I use proper English. Hilarious.
Xxlegolaszxx: ur such a n00b u want some hawt pr0nz0rz?
Trollski: No, I don't want any frickin' prawns. I don't eat shellfish. Leave me alone.
*long pause*
Xxlegolaszxx: stfu n00b horde sux azz lolz0rz
Trollski: You doofus.

Longhander by Girouette December 21, 2008

longhand

the exact opposite of shorthand. longhanded writers tend to exaggerate letters that make the word awkward and hard to read. the correct form of longhand is used when the writer exaggerates one letter, usually the last letter or an important letter. incorrect longhand writers will emphasize letters that shouldnt be. for example, the word yo, meaning hey, or what's up, would become yyyyyo. everyone seems to hate this annoying text. my friends, mitch and georgia, have perfected this retarded language.

here's an IM conversation i had with my friend mitch.

me: yo nigga!
mitch: wwwhaaatss upp sson?
me: why do you ruin my life with your ridiculous longhand.
mitch: wwtf aaree yyyou talllkinnng abouuut?

longhand by the big skeez February 25, 2008

Tom-Tom-Longhammer 

Tom-Tom-Longhammer is a slang term that denotes a man who is slightly cross-eyed, with pigeon feet and tall in stature (over 6ft 3in), yet, between his legs hangs an enormous penis, called a Longhammer. The prefix of this compound word originates from the idea that if said person was a Native American, his tribal name would be Tom-Tom. It is not unusual for a Tom-Tom-Longhammer to be exceptionally well endowed--often resembling a deformed cucumber whose nutrient source during gestational timeframes was a synthesized form of growth hormone that is currently banned in most countries except North Korea where it is used for artificial excess growth in vegetable production. This uniquely sized penis is also used a counter weight that swings to and fro, like a pendulum, neutralizing the opposing motion created by the large anatomically incorrect pigeon feet. It has been said that a Tom-Tom-Longhammer is the most loyal person you will ever meet. He is generous and kind, albeit awkward in nearly all social settings due to his enormous wanker. When a Tom-Tom-Longhammer gets angry, he immediately and instinctively takes off all of his cloths and begins to violently masturbate while going completely crosseyed. It is best to maintain a safe distance from a Tom-Tom-Longhammer when he feels threatened.

Damn, bro, look at that big pigeon looking motherfucker, I bet that homie is a fucking Tom-Tom-Longhammer!

Tom-Tom-Longhammer by MalibuRecon May 21, 2018

Longhammer 

A trusty tool that helps ordinary men do extraordinary things

With the help of his longhammer, Alex was able to defeat the rebel alliance, master the violin, and still make it home in time for lunch

Longhammer by Megantron August 9, 2010

longwanger 

the food of those who love the nizzle

the inferior species cannot reproduce without sitting on one

Faggots eat them

Blow my longwanger you fuckin cunt assed virgin bitch

longwanger by anonymous May 25, 2004

LongHands 

The LongHands are a Group of people with both especially large hands and penises. May be used in the sigular LongHand or slag LoHa.

OMG Bruce and Felix are such LongHands.

LongHands by KingBruceXVII April 6, 2020