A title that rivals Chuck Norris for sheer intrepid manliness. A burgeoning neologism that describes only the most gaudy and cocksure individuals of the phallic persuasion. A Locknasty is a fecund and bipedal devil that is only looking for a good time when he is not eating small children, whole. Rampant vaginal copulation, excessive and incessive consumption of bottom-shelf liquors, rollicking and often gambrinous encounters with Johnny Law, preparing fine casseroles, Guns N' Roses, administering the fist of justice upside the heads of Navy Officers, tickling, scented lotions, seducing married school teachers from Connecticut, and not graduating college are just a few things this fascinating, diabolical son-of-a bitch enjoys.

When you eat dirt for the first time and leave your family to build a shack in the woods