King Tabingo
A legendary ruler who runs his kingdom like a perfectly dysfunctional command economy. Under King Tabingo’s reign, every citizen is required to follow his “Five-Year Plan,” which changes every five minutes. He controls all production, distribution, and even the national snack supply—usually to make sure he gets the biggest portion. Known for giving extremely dramatic speeches about efficiency while personally causing 90% of the inefficiency. Subjects fear his most powerful decree: “Because I said so.”
Despite the absolute rule, King Tabingo insists his leadership style is “collaborative,” meaning he collaborates with himself and then announces the decision to everyone else.
Despite the absolute rule, King Tabingo insists his leadership style is “collaborative,” meaning he collaborates with himself and then announces the decision to everyone else.
“Bro, our group project turned into a command economy the moment Tyler started acting like King Tabingo and assigning everyone jobs without asking.”
King Tabingo by zvlr December 5, 2025
