Who's Kavian? Simply put, a God among men, the future ruler of the world, and a fine pimp that ain't afraid to slap you across the face with his cock.
It is said that when He was born, color was given to the world and two neighboring stars exploded; ushering in the greatest era in human history.
Kavian was a creation of "The Force". When created, he weighed about a stunning 21 lbs (12 lbs was his penis alone). Without parents or guidance, He was raised by a pack of wild wolves, named Alpha-Wolf at age 3, and solved a rubix cube underwater blindfolded at age 3-AND-A-HALF.
His middle name is "Ballsacko-Grande", Swahili for "The-Chosen-One". In 1996, He was named heir to Swaziland's thrown and led them to unknown advancements in medical science and geography.
After his single-handed victory of World War II, Kavian was named "The Jesus" by the Tibetan Monks. His title signified Him as being the one to bring balance to the elements of the world.
Kavian is a man known for his kindness. Back in Nam' He created the "I have a Dream" speech for his boy, Martin Luther King, Jr. He took no credit in creating it. Later, he hunted down the man responsible for MLK's (AKA Big Daddy Martin) assassination and brutally killed the man.
No mercy.
"The-Most-Interesting-Man-In-The-World" relinquished his position to Kavian.
So next time you're down at the lowest point in your life ask yourself this: "What would Kavian do." Either way, you probably wont be able to do what He would do.
It is said that when He was born, color was given to the world and two neighboring stars exploded; ushering in the greatest era in human history.
Kavian was a creation of "The Force". When created, he weighed about a stunning 21 lbs (12 lbs was his penis alone). Without parents or guidance, He was raised by a pack of wild wolves, named Alpha-Wolf at age 3, and solved a rubix cube underwater blindfolded at age 3-AND-A-HALF.
His middle name is "Ballsacko-Grande", Swahili for "The-Chosen-One". In 1996, He was named heir to Swaziland's thrown and led them to unknown advancements in medical science and geography.
After his single-handed victory of World War II, Kavian was named "The Jesus" by the Tibetan Monks. His title signified Him as being the one to bring balance to the elements of the world.
Kavian is a man known for his kindness. Back in Nam' He created the "I have a Dream" speech for his boy, Martin Luther King, Jr. He took no credit in creating it. Later, he hunted down the man responsible for MLK's (AKA Big Daddy Martin) assassination and brutally killed the man.
No mercy.
"The-Most-Interesting-Man-In-The-World" relinquished his position to Kavian.
So next time you're down at the lowest point in your life ask yourself this: "What would Kavian do." Either way, you probably wont be able to do what He would do.
"Kavian died five years ago, but Death is to afraid to tell him."
~J.F.K
"Kavian's tears cure cancer... to bad he never cries."
~Django
"Kavian counted to infinity... twice."
~Tupac
"Kavian is the reason Waldo is hiding."
~New York Times
~J.F.K
"Kavian's tears cure cancer... to bad he never cries."
~Django
"Kavian counted to infinity... twice."
~Tupac
"Kavian is the reason Waldo is hiding."
~New York Times
by Swag-Yolo420Blaze May 08, 2013
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Bro since I got dirtpilled on Tuesday I have made sooo many worm friends and made them soo many little houses to get married in. Me? Lonely? No you’re the lonely one u lawn owning freak
via giphy
by ecogoth December 30, 2020
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The perfect girlfriend. And a total sweetheart. She's everything you'd ever want in a woman, and more.
The most beautiful girl you'd ever lay eyes on. She has great hair, and she's not afraid to flaunt it.
If looks could kill, you'd die after a fraction of a glance at her perfection.
She's a very honest person, and she'll speak her mind. She's always right, so arguing with her is pointless.
Kavian never backs down from a challenge, but you'd regret challenging her. Underestimating her will ultimately lead to your doom.
Symptoms of contact with Kavian for an extended period of time include a loss of feelings for anyone else, increased heart rate, dizziness, insomnia and excessive fantasizing.
One of the funniest people you'll ever know. Kavian has a great sense of humor.
She can cheer up just about anyone.
The one that puts all of your exes to shame. Her amazing personality and dazzling features are second to none, so always keep a can opener handy. You never know when you'll need to open up a can of whoop-ass on whoever it is that tries to flirt with her.
However, she's no pushover and can easily beat them up herself. Or you, for that matter.
Kavian is extremely loyal and would do anything for the people she cares about.
She'll stick with you through thick and thin.
The most constant and abundant source of happiness on Earth.
You'll be smiling the whole time she's around. If you're lucky enough to be with her, never let her go.
She's definitely a keeper.
The most beautiful girl you'd ever lay eyes on. She has great hair, and she's not afraid to flaunt it.
If looks could kill, you'd die after a fraction of a glance at her perfection.
She's a very honest person, and she'll speak her mind. She's always right, so arguing with her is pointless.
Kavian never backs down from a challenge, but you'd regret challenging her. Underestimating her will ultimately lead to your doom.
Symptoms of contact with Kavian for an extended period of time include a loss of feelings for anyone else, increased heart rate, dizziness, insomnia and excessive fantasizing.
One of the funniest people you'll ever know. Kavian has a great sense of humor.
She can cheer up just about anyone.
The one that puts all of your exes to shame. Her amazing personality and dazzling features are second to none, so always keep a can opener handy. You never know when you'll need to open up a can of whoop-ass on whoever it is that tries to flirt with her.
However, she's no pushover and can easily beat them up herself. Or you, for that matter.
Kavian is extremely loyal and would do anything for the people she cares about.
She'll stick with you through thick and thin.
The most constant and abundant source of happiness on Earth.
You'll be smiling the whole time she's around. If you're lucky enough to be with her, never let her go.
She's definitely a keeper.
Kavian is just so perfect.
Dang, I wish I had a girlfriend like Kavian.
Back off, bro. Kavian is mine.
Dang, I wish I had a girlfriend like Kavian.
Back off, bro. Kavian is mine.
by KavianIsMine September 10, 2013
Get the Kavian neck gaiter and mug.
The perfect girlfriend. And a total sweetheart. She's everything you'd ever want in a woman, and more.
The most beautiful girl you'd ever lay eyes on. She has great hair, and she's not afraid to flaunt it.
If looks could kill, you'd die after a fraction of a glance at her perfection.
She's a very honest person, and she'll speak her mind. She's always right, so arguing with her is pointless.
Kavian never backs down from a challenge, but you'd regret challenging her. Underestimating her will ultimately lead to your doom.
Symptoms of contact with Kavian for an extended period of time include a loss of feelings for anyone else, increased heart rate, dizziness, insomnia and excessive fantasizing.
One of the funniest people you'll ever know. Kavian has a great sense of humor.
She can cheer up just about anyone.
The one that puts all of your exes to shame. Her amazing personality and dazzling features are second to none, so always keep a can opener handy. You never know when you'll need to open up a can of whoop-ass on whoever it is that tries to flirt with her.
However, she's no pushover and can easily beat them up herself. Or you, for that matter.
Kavian is extremely loyal and would do anything for the people she cares about.
She'll stick with you through thick and thin.
The most constant and abundant source of happiness on Earth.
You'll be smiling the whole time she's around. If you're lucky enough to be with her, never let her go.
She's definitely a keeper.
The most beautiful girl you'd ever lay eyes on. She has great hair, and she's not afraid to flaunt it.
If looks could kill, you'd die after a fraction of a glance at her perfection.
She's a very honest person, and she'll speak her mind. She's always right, so arguing with her is pointless.
Kavian never backs down from a challenge, but you'd regret challenging her. Underestimating her will ultimately lead to your doom.
Symptoms of contact with Kavian for an extended period of time include a loss of feelings for anyone else, increased heart rate, dizziness, insomnia and excessive fantasizing.
One of the funniest people you'll ever know. Kavian has a great sense of humor.
She can cheer up just about anyone.
The one that puts all of your exes to shame. Her amazing personality and dazzling features are second to none, so always keep a can opener handy. You never know when you'll need to open up a can of whoop-ass on whoever it is that tries to flirt with her.
However, she's no pushover and can easily beat them up herself. Or you, for that matter.
Kavian is extremely loyal and would do anything for the people she cares about.
She'll stick with you through thick and thin.
The most constant and abundant source of happiness on Earth.
You'll be smiling the whole time she's around. If you're lucky enough to be with her, never let her go.
She's definitely a keeper.
Kavian is just so perfect.
Dang, I wish I had a girlfriend like Kavian.
Back off, bro. Kavian is mine.
Dang, I wish I had a girlfriend like Kavian.
Back off, bro. Kavian is mine.
by KavianIsMine September 10, 2013
Get a kavian mug for your cousin James.
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