John Bushong
Biologically a male, but is flamboyantly homosexual in nature. A JB has a reputable disposition of having incredible sexual prowess, and at the same time is hindered by his genitals that have their own ideations and decide his outcomes.
One can definitely sense the presence of a JB even though he may not be visible, as he possesses an aura of indignation and volatility, making him notably unpredictable.
Historians have theorized that JBs' expire physically, yet do not die spiritually. A JB merely reincarnates into the next available host whom is suitable to withstand the immense levels of rizz in which the soul of a JB is saturated.
Never challenge a JB. The odds of survival are parallel with that of enduring a nuclear blast. Learn to make friends with a JB and you won't be disappointed. They have an innate reaction to protect and defend their allies, and will stop at nothing to staunch any threat; even if it entails genocide or ritualistic mass termination.
All JBs' have an Achilles Heel. No pun intended, but they are particularly susceptible to sprained ankles, and as such you will most often notice a JB wearing Military Issue High top boots, a feature that they attribute to attempted trendsetting if you inquire about them. This is to be kept in mind when mitigating JBs' because as aforementioned, they have the tendency to be unpredictable, and if a JB considers you as a traitor, they will proceed to hire an esteemed assassin by the name of Sylvanna to handle you.
One can definitely sense the presence of a JB even though he may not be visible, as he possesses an aura of indignation and volatility, making him notably unpredictable.
Historians have theorized that JBs' expire physically, yet do not die spiritually. A JB merely reincarnates into the next available host whom is suitable to withstand the immense levels of rizz in which the soul of a JB is saturated.
Never challenge a JB. The odds of survival are parallel with that of enduring a nuclear blast. Learn to make friends with a JB and you won't be disappointed. They have an innate reaction to protect and defend their allies, and will stop at nothing to staunch any threat; even if it entails genocide or ritualistic mass termination.
All JBs' have an Achilles Heel. No pun intended, but they are particularly susceptible to sprained ankles, and as such you will most often notice a JB wearing Military Issue High top boots, a feature that they attribute to attempted trendsetting if you inquire about them. This is to be kept in mind when mitigating JBs' because as aforementioned, they have the tendency to be unpredictable, and if a JB considers you as a traitor, they will proceed to hire an esteemed assassin by the name of Sylvanna to handle you.
1: guy 1 to guy 2: that dude gave my step-sis the business last night. She's 300lbs and now she has a thigh gap
Guy2: damn must've been a Jb
2: cougar librarian: I can't blame him for using the kids section as a Kleenex... after all he said he was a JB
3: Jehovah witness: I left my brochure at home do you mind if I borrow your car?
Margaret Atwood: I would say yes but you need to ask (John Bushong) first
George Orwell: I would forget about it if I were you
Guy2: damn must've been a Jb
2: cougar librarian: I can't blame him for using the kids section as a Kleenex... after all he said he was a JB
3: Jehovah witness: I left my brochure at home do you mind if I borrow your car?
Margaret Atwood: I would say yes but you need to ask (John Bushong) first
George Orwell: I would forget about it if I were you
John Bushong by SchmegDoctor June 19, 2023
