the belief of illness when none is present. not being sick, but being uncool. you are not ill if you have hypochondria
lil wayne has hypochondria
by j-rob mad fresh May 16, 2010
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1) A disease where a person thinks he or she has a major problem with their body that could put them in critical condition or even kill them.

2) An illness when people are scared something is wrong with them; 1 of 5 people suffer from it in the United States.
Katie had hypochondria so she was always scared that she had a major problem with her body.
by special a <3 May 9, 2008
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The mental state wherein you're extremely paranoid of catching a disease you (probably) don't have.
John is such a hypochondriac. Whenever he has the sniffles, he thinks that he has an auto-immune deficiency.
by Relationship February 29, 2012
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1. a declaration made by medical professionals and blowhards when faced with an illness they can't decode with a quick once over or basic blood test. This conclusion is often reached once insurance benefits are maxed out, or even more rapidly if the person is uninsured or has an HMO. By assuring the patient that he or she does not actually suffer from the symptoms they visibly see and feel, these doctors can dispense the coveted diagnosis of crazy before moving on to the next obviously crazy not-sick patient. This hypochondria declaration also helps distracted doctors maintain something sort of like integrity, because it's not like they didn't know or didn't try, and it's not that insurance companies suck or that it's sometimes hard to pinpoint a cause and treat it -- really, it's just the dirty, dirty patient's fault for being so darn kooky. Very similar to miserable women being perpetually diagnosed with hysteria back in the day, except no one prescribes vibrators for treatment anymore.

2. the default response of narcissists who consider those suffering illness inconvenient.
1. Well, antibiotics didn't work, so we've been thinking it must be all in your head. I'm writing you a prescription for hypochondria. Pfizer has been working on a great formula for you. You might have heard of it, since the name is written on this pen I'm using. Now, I've got a tee time to make...

2. Even since I was diagnosed with hypochondria, the rash melting the skin from the left side of my body has totally cleared. I'm really grateful to my doctor for noticing it was a massive hallucination.
by aboom March 6, 2013
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Hypochondria This is a phobia. Often misunderstood, hypochondria is the fear of having a serious illness. People with hypochondria have a genuine phobia that they or someone they love will die of some disease or another. It is not a psychosomatic condition. Nor is the person always 'sick' as seems to be the common misconception of this very devastating fear.
Hypochondria is when you have a cold you might think you have something much worse that could kill you.
by misstash007 March 19, 2015
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While hypochondria is the fear of doing anything without getting a fatal injury/illness, computer hypochondria is the fear of downloading anything, no matter how verified the download is, in fear that it will screw up your computer in some way or another.
I'd download this .exe file, but I don't want to get a BSoD.

Dude, you have some bad computer hypochondria.
by Christophucked March 11, 2011
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Genital Hypochondria (jen-i-tl hahy-puh-kon-dree-uh)
1. (Psychiatry) an excessive preoccupation with one's sexual health and well-being, usually focusing on particular transmitted diseases, such as chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, herpes and/or AIDS that are contracted through sexual intercourse or other intimate sexual contact.
2. Excessive worry or talk about one's sexual health and well-being in the genital region.
Signs of GH:
1. Worry followed by an inability to focus on daily tasks. 2. Cold sweats. 3. Irregular itchiness usually effecting the genital area. With continued worry itchiness can spread to other regions of the human body.
Solutions for GH:
1. Go to a local clinic to get a check up. Most cases of GH end up being mental anxiety over an actual contraction of a sexually transmitted disease.
Shawn meets Jane. Shawn and Jane talk and laugh and have some drinks. Shawn and Jane go back to Shawns. Shawn and Jane have sex. Jane leaves. Shawn realizes he doesn't know Jane. Shawn also realizes that he didn't wear protection and that Jane didn't even mention the use of protection. Shawn gets worried. Shawn gets itchy. Genital Hypochondria sets in. Shawn is worried that Jane was a little unclean and that she shared something more with Shawn than just drinks, laughs and a sexual encounter. Shawn should go to the clinic.
by Matt Hodgins May 14, 2007
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