Holy Sanchez
When God smears shit on your face for not worshipping him. If you're a blasphemer and ever woken up with shit all over your face, that's God saying "Gotcha, Bitch."
...And now, O ye priests, this commandment is for you.
If ye will not hear, and if ye will not lay it to heart, to give glory unto my name, saith the LORD of hosts, I will even send a curse upon you, and I will curse your blessings: yea, I have cursed them already, because ye do not lay it to heart. Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces, even the dung of your solemn feasts; and one shall take you away with it. And ye shall know that I have sent this commandment unto you, that my covenant might be with Levi, saith the LORD of hosts.
- Malachi 2:1-4 (check if you don't believe it)
...And now, O ye priests, this commandment is for you.
If ye will not hear, and if ye will not lay it to heart, to give glory unto my name, saith the LORD of hosts, I will even send a curse upon you, and I will curse your blessings: yea, I have cursed them already, because ye do not lay it to heart. Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces, even the dung of your solemn feasts; and one shall take you away with it. And ye shall know that I have sent this commandment unto you, that my covenant might be with Levi, saith the LORD of hosts.
- Malachi 2:1-4 (check if you don't believe it)
Richard Dawkins was often puzzled how he woke up with shit smeared on his face. Alas, he knew the LORD had given him the Holy Sanchez.
Holy Sanchez by The Holy See, Il Papa, The Pontiff November 30, 2006
