In a world of compromises, some people put the bullets in the magazine backwards…But it doesn’t matter, because our gun is on the cover of the Rainbow Six video games. Look how cool that SEAL coming out of the water looks… If you buy a $2,000 SOCOM, you will be that cool of an operator too. And chicks will dig you.

At HK, we stuck a piston on an AR15, just like a bunch of other companies have done, dating back to about 1969. However ours is better, because we refuse to sell it to civilians. Because you suck, and we hate you.

Our XM8 is the greatest rifle ever developed. It may melt, and it doesn’t fit any accessories known to man, but that is your fault. If you were a real operator, you would love it. Once again, look at Rainbow Six, that G36 sure is cool isn’t it? Yeah, you know you want one.And by the way, check out our new HK45. We decided that humans don’t need to release the magazine with their thumbs. If you were a really manly teutonic operator, you would be able to reach the controls. Plus we’ve fired 100,000,000 rounds through one with zero malfunctions, and that was while it was buried in a lake of molten lava, on the moon. If you don’t believe us, it is because you aren’t a real operator.

By the way, our cheap, mass-produced, stamped sheet metal guns like the G3 and MP5 are the bestest things ever, and totally worth asinine scalpers prices, but note that cheap, mass-produced, stamped sheet metal guns from other countries are commie garbage. Not that it matters, because you’re civilians, so we won’t sell them to you anyway. Because you suck, and we hate you, but we know you’ll be back. We can beat you down like a trailer park wife, but you’ll come back, you always do.

Buy our stuff.


HK Marketing DepartmentHK. Because you suck. And we hate you.
Ze Heckler and Koch G36 did not lose eets zero, joo ah just not TEUTONIC OPERATOR eenuff to use our superior German engineering. NEIN EET EEZ NOT MELTING, ZAT IS SUPPOSE TO HAPPEN.
by Hans, HK marketing. July 11, 2009
Get the Heckler and Koch mug.
Heckler and Koch - German firearms manufacturer started by Edmund Heckler, Theodor Koch and Alex Seidel, former Mauser engineers, in the late 1940s.

English pronounciation - Heck-ler and Kot-sh (or sometimes Koke).

German pronounciation - the letters "ch" do not sound like they do in English. "Church" is not a ch combination that the Germans ever pronounce. It is more of a chhhh that somewhat sounds like phlegm being summoned from the rear of the throat. However, Most German's say Koch as "Kot-sh".
I work for H&K USA and have to debate the name almost every week! In our branch in Sterling, VA, we all call it 'Kot-sh'.
by Micheal Trizetti November 22, 2003
Get the Heckler and Koch mug.
A German Firearms manufacturer that produces popular small arms such as the MP5 submachine gun, G36 assault rifle, and the PSG1 sniper rifle.

In 1949 Edmund Heckler, Theodor Koch, and Alex Seidel founded HK from the remnants of the Mauser corporation.

Currently HK is one of the lead weapons manufacturers of the world and firearms industry.
Heckler and Koch is to Germany as 'Fabrique Nationale' is to Belgium.
by TrashCanSam August 24, 2011
Get the Heckler and Koch mug.
A bad ass German gun, favored by Navy SEALS and the like. They make the MP5, USP and SOCOM.
I have a Heckler and Koch USP .40 compact. I cuddle with it before I go to bed.
by Meth December 11, 2003
Get the Heckler and Koch mug.
leader in the development and manufacturing of tactical and modern weapons in the world. Called euro-trash often by those who are jealous because the weapons they adore are inferior.
Heckler and Koch GmbH
Heckler and Koch Jagd und Sportwaffen GmbH
by H&K lover September 5, 2003
Get the heckler and koch mug.
A double action, polymer framed, semi automatic pistol manufactured by Heckler & Koch GmbH of Germany. Availible in .40 Smith & Wesson, 9x19mm Parabellum, and .45 ACP. There are many variants, including: The USP Compact (which, in addition to the three calibers mentioned above, is availible in .357 SIG), the USP Expert, USP Match, and USP Tactical. The USP was also the basis for the Mk23 Mod 0 SOCOM .45 ACP pistol. Many seem to think the only availible USP is the .45 ACP Tactical model, probably due to the fact that they know little or nothing about ANY guns not featured in some game called Counterstrike, if they even know that there are guns that EXIST outside those used in Counterstrike.
The Heckler & Koch USP is a rugged, reliable service pistol very well suited for military and police applications, as well as recreational shooting.
by JoeBob September 1, 2003
Get the Heckler & Koch USP mug.
A semi automatic sniper rifle manufactured by Heckler & Koch GmbH of Germany. Chambered for the 7.62x51mm NATO (.308 Winchester) round, equipped with Hensoldt 6x42mm scope.
The PSG1 is widely considered the most accurate semi automatic sniper rifle in the world.
by JoeBob July 29, 2003
Get the Heckler & Koch PSG1 mug.