Guam is a tiny island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, and when you refer back to it when describing the place to other people, you say it's basically right next to the Philippines but in the same time zone as Sydney. It's called "Where America's Day Begins" because it's on the other side of the International dateline, making jetlag a thing and giving students who went to school off-island an excuse to not call home.

Approximately 1/3 of the island is gated and controlled by the military, another 1/3 is nothing but jungle infested with dogs, brown tree snakes, and the White Lady, thus rendering the rest of the 1/3 to squish a ton of Filipinos, other Asians, occasionally white people with the 'native' Chamorros.

'Chaud' is more or less a term that refers to a guy who acts like the hybrid of a backwater redneck and SoCal bro who believes he is 'pure Chamorro'.

The government is corrupt because people hire only family members, the school system sucks because the government sucks, and the private schools fund all their money towards building nice things instead of funding for courses that matter.

The sales tax is already incorporated into the price, so you can bring up exact change before getting to the register.

The food is bomb as hell, but not intended for mass consumption beyond the holiday seasons.

There are 2 seasons on Guam: typhoon season and rainy season.

The main source of income is Japanese tourism.
Any student who has ever moved to the mainland would only return to Guam for Christmas break to eat and catch up with the friends who weren't so lucky.

If you attend UOG, then you're basically stuck on Guam for the rest of your life.
by stalebalale October 25, 2012
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an island in the North Pacific Ocean; part of the Mariana Islands archipelago; USA territory
Coordinates: 13 28 N, 144 47 E

great place to eat some mighty fuckin'awesome tasting barbeque
What?! You don't know where the fuck Guam is?
by sirena January 4, 2004
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Third World backyard of the United States of America. "Where America's Day Began" back between 1940 and 1980. Has become a complete toilet in the last 25 years. It is a small island that was a Spanish possession up until the time of the Spanish American War. Was taken by the Japanese during WWII - then recaptured. The post- WWII Chamorros were very supportive of the United States and the military, specifically the Marines who liberated them. But through corrupt politicians and very incompetent people pretending to know politics, Guam forced much of her only natural friend from the island - the US military (which was synonymous with Federal funding). It sports the only hospital in the United States that has not been accredited in over 25 years. GMH has a higher mortality rate than a lot of inner city hospitals and those that are out in the middle of no-where USA. Guam is frought with so many internal issues because the people who are running it are either incompetent or woefully corrupt. The island has had a job loss of a little over 700 people in a month. That is a sobering number if you look at the size of Guam and its population. FEMA has declined any further direct support for Guam as result of local politicians taking Federal Disaster funds meant for Typhoon relief (talking hundreds of thousands of US dollars). Guams 2009 crime rate has jumped severely as a result of people turning to desperate measures to eek out an existence. That coupled with a massive influx of illegal micronesians that have started "squatting" because they don't want to live in their third world islands like Chuuk, Yap, and Ponephei. Guam's educational system is currently so far behind US standards, that many of the island schools are using text books that are dated as far back as 1983. Guam is in a perpetual state of decline and disrepair. Nothing short of a complete and hostile take over by an outside entity with enough man power will be able to force a change for the better. Corruption is rampant in every facet of living including the local police and judiciary system! Don't get pulled over for a ticket - they will take your passport so you can't leave the island! "Living" on the island is a joke - you are constantly fighting just to stay ahead. And again, if you get sick...local medical care can be boiled down to even less than their local "Sirahans" - Chamorro versions of witch doctors.
Corrupt Politicians:
Current Gov. F.C.;Former Gov. C.G.,Former Gov. R.J.B. and his wife the current Congressdelegate M.B. the representative from Guam.

Countless Senators that have been sent to Federal Prisons to serve time for taking Federal funds to buy trips and personal items for themselves and family members.

Best place to look this stuff up on a regular basis for the low down on how bad things are:

Guam is a pisshole of an island with even more polluted beaches than Southern California!
by Fed up Chamorro August 25, 2009
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An unincorporated territory of United States and is the largest southern island in the Marianas.

Where America's day begin.
Where the sun shines first then the States.
Where majority of Chamorro people dont know how to speak their language
Where local people make more babies to qualify for foodstamps
Where outsiders or mainly foreigners are taking over their islands
Where land is so rare that Chamorros rent apartments
Where Micronesians qualify for foods stamps too
Where speed limit is forbidden
Where signaling is not needed
Where the road is so screwed up you end up in the driving on the wrong lane
Where chamorros are called "CHAUD"
Where Filipinos are called "FAUBS"
Where having 10 kids is tax free
Where the population of pregnant women are increasing
Where "Baby Making Weather" (BMW) happens when it rains
Where people drive nice cars but have food stamps
by Hayi Hao! August 19, 2009
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Guam is a beautiful island in the marianas. It is known as a tourist attraction and is home to a variety of people. From the locals aka Chamorros to the Filipinos, Asians, Micronesians, and Haoles. With the many different types of food, Guam is especially known for it's local dishes. It is great for vacation because of the tropical type of weather. Its not perfect but it's where america's day begins.
All these "definitions" of Guam are untrue and rude. the fact that you can say those things about an island you have no experience living on is stupid and unnecessary. You people are little minded and have no consideration for what you say. Growing up here I can honestly say that yeah Guam isn't perfect but no place is! So before you run your mouth and make up silly accusations, think about what it is you are saying. Because it may be an "island" to you, but for the people who live here, it is home.
by verrrrrrrrr August 18, 2011
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Guam is an island in the North Pacific at 13-27 N 144-47 E. It is an unincorporated territory of the United States. Basically, it's a third world colony of the U.S.; home to large military bases. Demographics: 50% Chamorros (alt. Chamorru or Chamoron) the lazy (1/3 of Chamorros are on the dole) indigenous people of the island that look like chubby Filipinos. 30% actual Filipinos (most of the workforce), 8% Micronesian primitives, 7% Asians, and about 5% haolies, not counting the military. Although well funded by the U.S.; any funds are squandered by an inept, corrupt local government. Thus, the infrastructure is in decay, the schools are a nightmare, and you'll die if you go to the hospital. People in Guam enjoy BBQ's, eating Spam, drinking Budweiser, making babies, chewing Pugua, not working, and beating people up (especially wives).
The word Guam stands for: Give Us American Money,'s where America's nightmare begins.
by Joe Cruz May 2, 2008
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An island in the Western Pacific Ocean.

But more commonly known as "The World's Dumpster."
Guam: Back in Guam, I-
Brasil: Back in the Dumpster. Continue.
Guam: No, fuck you! So back in Gua-
Dusty: Look, there is a dumpster right there. Reminds you of the good times huh? Yeah, good times.
NBJ: I remember the good times I had in the cotton fields.
MassaKim: Shut up negro! Who gave you permission to talk? It's the whip for you.
Guam: Fuck you guys...
by BrasilStyle March 9, 2010
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