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There is a global pandemic going on and you’re worried about a banter fest. I’m definitely not going to attend, don’t know about the rest of you, but I care about my life 

The act of roasting physics teachers and messaging the whole sixth form about why attending a banter fest during a global pandemic is an inadvisable thing to do.
Physics teacher: Hey guys I organised a banter fest for you next Monday. It'll be really fun!
Sensible person: There is a global pandemic going on and you’re worried about a banter fest. I’m definitely not going to attend, don’t know about the rest of you, but I care about my life
Physics teacher: Oh I'm sorry I didn't...
Sensible person: There is a global pandemic going on and you’re worried about a banter fest. I’m definitely not going to attend, don’t know about the rest of you, but I care about my life
Physics teacher: *Leaves school to go live in a remote Siberian village*

global pooping pandemic 

where everybody all has to poop at the same time
did you hear about the global pooping pandemic?”

global pandemilovato 

Global pandemilovato (also pandemi lovato) is a wordplay on the word "global pandemic" and the singer-song writer "Demi Lovato," in reference to the COVID-19 pandemic. Initially coined by TikTok users, this COVIDism was created to humorously describe the historical global health pandemic.

Similar terms include: global pandaemonium, global panorama (or panoramic), global pandemilovato, global pandora (or pandora's box), global panini, and global panera bread
All bars and restaurants are closed because of this global pandemilovato

sans sheriff 

Lawless use of fonts or typography, with no regard to aesthetics or legibility
I'm putting this CV straight in the bin. Written totally sans sheriff.
sans sheriff by Jamarley July 3, 2019

Breadhead 

Someone who is addicted to obtaining money and building wealth. A money addict and fanatic. Breadheads often work more than one full-time job, and some even participate in illicit activities to "obtain the bread".
A breadhead is like a crackhead, but for money instead of crack.
Breadhead by 🅱️ U S 3 4 8 March 30, 2022

Stink lines

As seen in illustrations or cartoons: Wavy, vertical lines rising above a person, place or thing. Denotes a foul odor.
"You didn't put enough stink lines on your picture of the teacher."
Stink lines by Athene Airheart March 14, 2004