An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Czech are out exploring, and they're captured by cannibals. The king of the cannibals says "We're going to eat you now, because we're cannibals and that's what we do. But we're not savages
like we used to be, so we're not going to torture you for three days first...in fact, you can
kill yourselves any
way you
like, we
don't care."
The explorers all look rather crestfallen at this news, and the chief hastens to reassure them: "Oh, I know what you're thinking, we've seen it before---you're thinking your life has been a waste, you're going to die out here for nothing, and so on. Well, let me assure you, that just isn't true. We'll use your
skin to make our excellent canoes, your hair to make twine, and we'll eat every edible part of you. So really, it's not a waste at all. Now, please get on with it."
The Frenchman says "vive la france", and slits his throat.
The Englishman takes his
gun, says "God save the
Queen", and shoots himself in the head.
The Czech pulls out a
fork and starts stabbing himself---first in the thigh (ouch!), then in the side (yow!), then in the lower
leg (argh!)...finally the king of the cannibals says "My god, what are you doing??!!"
And the Czech stabs himself with the
fork again and says..."Fuck your canoe."
