Default Bestie

When your bestie is only really your bestie due to lack of other friends. So they're only your bestie by default. They tend to drive you nuts and make you often question why you're even friends with them. Is often an old school friend or childhood friend and you're only really still friends with them due to knowing them so long as well as not having many friends. They tend not be a great friend or even a good friend really. Chances are if you met a better friend you'd drop your default bestie like a sack of shit.
Tom"UghI fucking hate Matt! He drives me mad!"

Mum" isn't he your best friend?"

Tom"Honestly he's a default bestie. Only reason I'm still friends with him is because I've got no one else"
by mrperson123 October 10, 2017
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Match.com

The original dating website.
Match, like all online dating is a pile of shit, but unlike Tinder and OK Cupid, there's a hefty membership fee . The people on there suck! The women are average looking with ridiculously high standards, wanting a perfect man. The men are desperate weirdos, or sugar daddies looking for hot young women. Their algorithm sucks, your "daily matches" are all selected completely randomly, you'll be lucky if it sends you someone the same age, or city as you, as well as sending you profiles that have already rejected you. Speaking of which, when someone rejects you on match you get a brutal automated rejection.
The other thing is match is hella shady. They have a TON of fake and inactive profiles they keep to boost their numbers, as well as not telling you what profiles are free members meaning they don't have access to messages. Chances are the majority of people you're messaging can't reply or even read your messages. They also have an "auto renewal system" meaning if you don't cancel your membership before it's due to renew you automatically get charged for another 6 months, which match will refuse to refund. Thing is it takes 2 days to cancel the auto renewal. Many a poor bastard has been suckered into paying another 6 months for this shit trap. When you do cancel your membership, you'll instantly get an email saying you've got new messages, another trap. If you do renew it the messages are either be from bots or will magically disappear.
Bill: Ugh I'm so sick of how crappy tinder is! Man why is dating so hard?
Chrissy: It's because you're using tinder, you should use match.com . It's a paid service so there's a higher calibre of people.

Bill: Hmm maybe you're right, guess I'll give match a try.

*several weeks later*

Bill: Oh my god match fucking sucks! This shit is worse than tinder!
by mrperson123 April 30, 2019
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Flippy

Someone who's a moronic tosser. Known to perform cowardly actions like dodging a beetroot.
Flippy is such a tosser! That cowardly moron dodged my beetroot instead of taking it like a man!
by mrperson123 March 31, 2017
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Friend Hierarchy

When someone has lots of friends, they'll be a hierarchy going from bestie to last resort friend. The higher up you on the hierarchy the more events you'll be invited to secrets you'll be told.
Jess: Hey did Nat invite you to her birthday party?

Brenda: Nope, she told me I'm not high enough on the friend hierarchy. She's only inviting besties and close friends.

Brad: Shit did you hear Dan's engaged!
Carl:Yeah, can't believe he got his girlfriend pregnant!
Brad:Wait what?
Carl:Shit I wasn't supposed to tell you that, you're too low on the friend hierarchy.

Tim:Hey I heard you booked an escape room, can I come?
Kath: I'm sorry but there's very few spaces, only those at the top of the friend hierarchy are coming.

Tim: Ah ok, fair enough.
by mrperson123 August 25, 2017
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Friendly Acquaintance

Someone who you'll act matey with when you're around each other, but you aren't actually friends. Neither of you will actually instigate hanging out nor contact each other. Tends to be someone who you see through a mutual friend, in school, at work, through a group etc.
Tim :Ugh I've got no plans this weekend, all my mates are busy

Sal:Why don't you see Jerry, you guys always have a ball when you hangout!
Tim:Nah mate he's only a Friendly Acquaintance, we're not actually friends sadly.

Sal: Ah fairs.
by mrperson123 January 10, 2019
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Curvy

The technically definition is a woman with an hour glass figure. However overweight women have taken the term as their own, so nowadays if someone uses the term curvy, its people trying to politely say their fat. On dating profiles fat women will often use the term curvy to describe themselves as its hard to tell if their actually curvy or overweight.
Original Definition: Woah Marilyn Monroe sure was hot and curvy.

New Definition:
Example 1- As a curvy woman I have to shop in plus size shops like Evans.

Example 2- Have you met Alex's new girl? She's a bit on the curvy side.
Example 3- So I'm meeting this girl from Match, shes listed her body type as curvy but all her pictures of selphies that only show her face. Hmm.
by mrperson123 March 29, 2019
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Chocobo

An insult that means someone's a giant yellow bellied chicken. Named after the bird from Final Fantasy which is basically a giant yellow chicken,
Scenario 1
3 mates about to see a horror movie
cowardly friend: Guys I changed my mind. I don't wanna see this movie, it looks too scary!
Friend 1: Ah come on man, don't be chicken.
Cowardly friend:I'm not! The man on the poster looks scary! I'm not seeing this!
Friend 2:Mate you're such a chocobo!
Friend 1: Chocobo! Choboco! Is the big chocobo scared of a horror movie?
Cowardly friend: Screw you guys!

Scenario 2
Marty bumps into Biff at a diner
Biff:Hey watch where you're going butthead! Now I'm gonna pound you!
Marty:No thanks Biff I was just leaving.
Biff: What's McFly? You Chocobo?
Marty's face goes bright red and swells up with rage
Marty: NOBODY CALLS ME A CHOCOBO!!!!
by mrperson123 November 02, 2017
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