mrperson123's definitions

Keep a kosher home

When a Jew will eat non kosher food when they're out but keeps kosher at home. An act of illogical hypocrisy but is ever so popular among secular Jews.

Dan: Alright Jim what do you want on your pizza?

Jim: Ham and pineapple please.
Dan:No Jim! That's not kosher!
Jim:Dan you don't even keep kosher! I've seen you eat bacon cheeseburgers a dozen times!

Dan:I eat non kosher out but I keep a kosher home!
Jim:That's such bullshit!

by mrperson123 January 22, 2020

Go eat a banger ya reeky scunner!

Scottish insult. Literally means go suck a dick you smelly low life

Head boys approach Ollie's house and demand he gives them free food
Ollie "Go eat a banger ya reeky scunner!"

by mrperson123 December 13, 2018

Flippy

Someone who's a moronic tosser. Known to perform cowardly actions like dodging a beetroot.

Flippy is such a tosser! That cowardly moron dodged my beetroot instead of taking it like a man!

by mrperson123 March 31, 2017

Friendly Acquaintance

Someone who you'll act matey with when you're around each other, but you aren't actually friends. Neither of you will actually instigate hanging out nor contact each other. Tends to be someone who you see through a mutual friend, in school, at work, through a group etc.

Tim :Ugh I've got no plans this weekend, all my mates are busy

Sal:Why don't you see Jerry, you guys always have a ball when you hangout!
Tim:Nah mate he's only a Friendly Acquaintance, we're not actually friends sadly.

Sal: Ah fairs.

by mrperson123 January 10, 2019

Last Resort Friend

The friend you call as a last resort when all your other friends are busy. You don't really like this friend and are prone to cancel on them if you get a better offer. You may be this friend to someone else.

Scenario 1
Bob: Hey are you free this weekend?
Friend: Sorry I'm not, got some family function I can't get out of.

Bob: Damn it everyone's busy, Guess I'll have to call my last resort friend.

Scenario 2
Tim: Hi Dan's just cancelled on me. Are you free tomorrow?
LRF: You only ever call me when everyone else is busy, I'm sick of being your last resort friend!

by mrperson123 April 11, 2017

Fapentines Day

When you're alone on Valentines Day so you basically spend the day fapping to Porn.

Happy Fapentines Day!

Scenario 1
Marko: So Bryan you got any plans for Valentines Day?
Bryan: It's another Fapentines Day for me Bro. Jen text dumped 5 days ago. So my plans are being holed up in my room and fapping away.

Scenario 2
Anne: Hey Alice you manage to find a date for Valentines?

Alice: Sadly no, It's Fapentines Day for me. I've already bought my lube and charged up my vibrator. Gonna scrounge porn hub later.

by mrperson123 February 14, 2020

Chai Latte

A really gross drink from Starbucks that is also really popular for some reason. It's got tea, coffee, black pepper and cinnamon. How anyone thought that was a good mix is beyond me.

Bob: Hi I'd like to try a chai latte please
Barista: Sure coming up!

*Bob takes a sip*
Bob: Ugh! That's disgusting! People actually pay money for this!? How is this even popular!?

by mrperson123 August 31, 2017