mrperson123's definitions
Jewish Boomer,
Has all the annoying traits of a regular boomer but has the added overbearingness and high expectations of Jewish Parents.
Has all the annoying traits of a regular boomer but has the added overbearingness and high expectations of Jewish Parents.
Ex1
Dave: You millennials are so lazy! When I was your age I was married, had a house and a career! The reason you're all still living with us is because you don't want to work hard!
Jonny: Actually housing prices nowadays are extortionate, most jobs pay's lousy.
Dave: It's your fault for wasting your bar mitzvah money on tut!
Jonny: Like you didn't waste yours on a fancy brief case!
Dave: That's not the same! It was different then!
Jonny: Exactly! Housing was affordable and a degree got you a job!
Dave: No! Your generation are lazy! If you worked hard and didn't waste money on your luxuries you'd have your own place!
Jonny: Because you'd totally give up your daily Starbucks and going out for dinner regularly to live in a crappy room. Pfft Jewmers!
Ex 2
Sharon: Why are you so fatutzed Hannah! You millenials are such snow flakes!
Hanna: I'm fatutzed because you keep calling my boyfriend a shmecky yok!
Sharon: Just be glad you're allowed to date a goy! When I was a kid my bubba slagged off my boyfriend for being reform! Said I should be with a frum boy and I was a disgrace, you know what I did? I listened to what she had to say and I apologised, you know why? Because I respected her! I didn't get offended like your generation does!
Hanna: That's abuse! That's not being thick skinned, that's you letting your grandma bully you under the guise of "respect". You Jewmers call us snow flakes, when frankly you were abused and were taught it was normal.
Dave: You millennials are so lazy! When I was your age I was married, had a house and a career! The reason you're all still living with us is because you don't want to work hard!
Jonny: Actually housing prices nowadays are extortionate, most jobs pay's lousy.
Dave: It's your fault for wasting your bar mitzvah money on tut!
Jonny: Like you didn't waste yours on a fancy brief case!
Dave: That's not the same! It was different then!
Jonny: Exactly! Housing was affordable and a degree got you a job!
Dave: No! Your generation are lazy! If you worked hard and didn't waste money on your luxuries you'd have your own place!
Jonny: Because you'd totally give up your daily Starbucks and going out for dinner regularly to live in a crappy room. Pfft Jewmers!
Ex 2
Sharon: Why are you so fatutzed Hannah! You millenials are such snow flakes!
Hanna: I'm fatutzed because you keep calling my boyfriend a shmecky yok!
Sharon: Just be glad you're allowed to date a goy! When I was a kid my bubba slagged off my boyfriend for being reform! Said I should be with a frum boy and I was a disgrace, you know what I did? I listened to what she had to say and I apologised, you know why? Because I respected her! I didn't get offended like your generation does!
Hanna: That's abuse! That's not being thick skinned, that's you letting your grandma bully you under the guise of "respect". You Jewmers call us snow flakes, when frankly you were abused and were taught it was normal.
by mrperson123 June 25, 2021
Get the Jewmer mug.When you're alone on Valentines Day so you basically spend the day fapping to Porn.
Happy Fapentines Day!
Happy Fapentines Day!
Scenario 1
Marko: So Bryan you got any plans for Valentines Day?
Bryan: It's another Fapentines Day for me Bro. Jen text dumped 5 days ago. So my plans are being holed up in my room and fapping away.
Scenario 2
Anne: Hey Alice you manage to find a date for Valentines?
Alice: Sadly no, It's Fapentines Day for me. I've already bought my lube and charged up my vibrator. Gonna scrounge porn hub later.
Marko: So Bryan you got any plans for Valentines Day?
Bryan: It's another Fapentines Day for me Bro. Jen text dumped 5 days ago. So my plans are being holed up in my room and fapping away.
Scenario 2
Anne: Hey Alice you manage to find a date for Valentines?
Alice: Sadly no, It's Fapentines Day for me. I've already bought my lube and charged up my vibrator. Gonna scrounge porn hub later.
by mrperson123 February 14, 2020
Get the Fapentines Day mug.When a Jew will eat non Kosher meat like beef and chicken, but won't eat a non kosher animal like pork or prawns. Something secular Jews do as they think it's better than fully breaking kosher, when in reality there's no difference.
Don:Hey Emily would you like some of my ham and cheese sandwich?
Emily: No Don! I can't have that! It's not kosher!
Don: Erm, Emily you do know that sandwich you're eating is non kosher chicken right?
Emily: Yeah but I eat non kosher meat, just not non kosher animals.
Don: So you're half kosher.
Emily: No Don! I can't have that! It's not kosher!
Don: Erm, Emily you do know that sandwich you're eating is non kosher chicken right?
Emily: Yeah but I eat non kosher meat, just not non kosher animals.
Don: So you're half kosher.
by mrperson123 February 14, 2020
Get the Half Kosher mug.When a Jew will eat non kosher food when they're out but keeps kosher at home. An act of illogical hypocrisy but is ever so popular among secular Jews.
Dan: Alright Jim what do you want on your pizza?
Jim: Ham and pineapple please.
Dan:No Jim! That's not kosher!
Jim:Dan you don't even keep kosher! I've seen you eat bacon cheeseburgers a dozen times!
Dan:I eat non kosher out but I keep a kosher home!
Jim:That's such bullshit!
Jim: Ham and pineapple please.
Dan:No Jim! That's not kosher!
Jim:Dan you don't even keep kosher! I've seen you eat bacon cheeseburgers a dozen times!
Dan:I eat non kosher out but I keep a kosher home!
Jim:That's such bullshit!
by mrperson123 January 22, 2020
Get the Keep a kosher home mug.by mrperson123 January 22, 2020
Get the Hazzer mug.The original dating website.
Match, like all online dating is a pile of shit, but unlike Tinder and OK Cupid, there's a hefty membership fee . The people on there suck! The women are average looking with ridiculously high standards, wanting a perfect man. The men are desperate weirdos, or sugar daddies looking for hot young women. Their algorithm sucks, your "daily matches" are all selected completely randomly, you'll be lucky if it sends you someone the same age, or city as you, as well as sending you profiles that have already rejected you. Speaking of which, when someone rejects you on match you get a brutal automated rejection.
The other thing is match is hella shady. They have a TON of fake and inactive profiles they keep to boost their numbers, as well as not telling you what profiles are free members meaning they don't have access to messages. Chances are the majority of people you're messaging can't reply or even read your messages. They also have an "auto renewal system" meaning if you don't cancel your membership before it's due to renew you automatically get charged for another 6 months, which match will refuse to refund. Thing is it takes 2 days to cancel the auto renewal. Many a poor bastard has been suckered into paying another 6 months for this shit trap. When you do cancel your membership, you'll instantly get an email saying you've got new messages, another trap. If you do renew it the messages are either be from bots or will magically disappear.
Match, like all online dating is a pile of shit, but unlike Tinder and OK Cupid, there's a hefty membership fee . The people on there suck! The women are average looking with ridiculously high standards, wanting a perfect man. The men are desperate weirdos, or sugar daddies looking for hot young women. Their algorithm sucks, your "daily matches" are all selected completely randomly, you'll be lucky if it sends you someone the same age, or city as you, as well as sending you profiles that have already rejected you. Speaking of which, when someone rejects you on match you get a brutal automated rejection.
The other thing is match is hella shady. They have a TON of fake and inactive profiles they keep to boost their numbers, as well as not telling you what profiles are free members meaning they don't have access to messages. Chances are the majority of people you're messaging can't reply or even read your messages. They also have an "auto renewal system" meaning if you don't cancel your membership before it's due to renew you automatically get charged for another 6 months, which match will refuse to refund. Thing is it takes 2 days to cancel the auto renewal. Many a poor bastard has been suckered into paying another 6 months for this shit trap. When you do cancel your membership, you'll instantly get an email saying you've got new messages, another trap. If you do renew it the messages are either be from bots or will magically disappear.
Bill: Ugh I'm so sick of how crappy tinder is! Man why is dating so hard?
Chrissy: It's because you're using tinder, you should use match.com . It's a paid service so there's a higher calibre of people.
Bill: Hmm maybe you're right, guess I'll give match a try.
*several weeks later*
Bill: Oh my god match fucking sucks! This shit is worse than tinder!
Chrissy: It's because you're using tinder, you should use match.com . It's a paid service so there's a higher calibre of people.
Bill: Hmm maybe you're right, guess I'll give match a try.
*several weeks later*
Bill: Oh my god match fucking sucks! This shit is worse than tinder!
by mrperson123 April 30, 2019
Get the Match.com mug.Anne: Hey Elisa, what did you say your job was?
Elisa: Oh I'm a lady of leisure! I just do whatever and see where life takes me.
Anne: So you're basically being pretentious about being unemployed?
Elisa: Am not! I was using it ironically!
Elisa: Oh I'm a lady of leisure! I just do whatever and see where life takes me.
Anne: So you're basically being pretentious about being unemployed?
Elisa: Am not! I was using it ironically!
by mrperson123 April 30, 2019
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